Ferdylicious Me...

Bagong E-mail Add

2008-04-14T07:56:00.000+08:00

Mayroong masamang nangyari sa aking dating email account kung kaya ako ngayon ay gumawa ng bagong email add: nilsembrano_md@yahoo.com.. yes, i know, di ko masyadong feel ang pagiging doctor (or doctor-to-be) but what the hell...
so yun, you can't reach me anymore sa aking dating email add... please din, iadd nyo na ako sa inyong mga contacts para kahit papaano, close pa rin tayo...
Happy Summer!

New Blog

2007-12-08T08:48:00.000+08:00

I have just spent the past hour customizing my multiply account. Instead of studying for the NMAT tomorrow, here I am, spending some cash in a net cafe, surfing the net and suddenly deciding to transfer blogging in this account..

Roses, they smell good and look good but to some extent they become overrated, common and boring. Black roses, I haven't really seen one but I bet it would look good. I like roses, the way they're supposed to symbolize a lot of things. Love, friendship, purity, etc.

These black and white roses symbolize my loneliness. Seventeen years of living and still loveless. How pathetic. Though I am happy with my life right now, I still yearn for that special someone to whom I could be pathetic and overrated comfortable without putting on fake smiles and fake laughter. That someone to whom I could be strong and vulnerable at the same time.

This is slowly turning out to be an emo-based entry so I'll stop here. I still have to study for NMAT. The pressure of getting a 90+ percentile is getting to me.

Update... Boredom...

2007-10-22T14:48:00.000+08:00

Happy things have happened and yet I'm not satisfied with the elation that was initiated by these events. Today's the first Monday of the sembreak that I'll be spending in Manila. In turned out that I didn't have to take any final exam since I was exempted from taking them. Haha, guess I still have brains after all. So far from my grades that I know I'm not really doing all that bad.. Not excellent or anything, just not bad.
***
My mom informed yesterday that two of my Aunts will go to Singapore this week and will first stay here in Manila to prepare for their flight. She commanded me to visit them in their hotel tomorrow just for old time's sake and also because one of those Aunts is apparently helping me go through college. She didn't have to order me to go there, I have been, after all, dying to see a relative to remind me that I still have a family. Hopefully I'll get treated to a shopping spree tomorrow. I am a nephew they haven't seen for a long time.
***
Dumbledore's gay, at least that what J.K. Rowling said according to this article. She is the author after all.
***
beep...

Tired...

2007-10-15T11:20:00.000+08:00

I feel tired...
In every freaking context that you could think of: I feel tired. A question asked by my room mate made me realize this.
"Ano bang nangyayari sa'yo?".. Oo nga, what the hell is fucking wrong with me. I feel tired. I am tired.

I'm tired of waking every single morning, taking a bath and going to school to face dull moments inside the classroom. I'm tired of supposedly enriching experiences provided by teachers. Those freaking teachers are nothing but people who make fun of my lack of knowledge in their presumed expertise. Teachers who stand in front looking all tall and proud with their Buddha-complexes oozing out of their noses. Teachers who do nothing but provide misery in my already fucked-up world.

I'm tired of walking the same route every morning. I'm tired of the same loud environment that Malate never fails to give me. I'm tired of the familiar corners that I have to take and the familiar guards who ask for my ID. I'm tired of the familiar taste of food from the cafeterias in university. Three sems and now and so fed up of the usual nugget burger, the usual carbonara and the usual medium milo.

I'm tired of the familiar nerdy environment that I have been living for the past decade. I am tired trying to catch up, to compete and to feel that I know something. I am tired of the usual people who do nothing but study, and study and make me feel stupid in every freaking sense. Their mouths frothing of terms that I can't even mumble. I am tired of the same faces. Not to be rude or anything, but nothing enriching has happened to me with these faces. I miss the old ones already.

I'm tired of studying. Studying has been my life for as long as I can remember and now, I feel like I'm already done with it. I don't have any fight anymore in me. I'm tired of fighting against the odds of failing every useless subject that "smarter" people have created. I'm tired of not being able to snooze complete and healthy sleeps. Studying used to be fun, but now it's not. It's just plain tiresome. I'm tired of overusing my neurons for what I perceive a waste of my time.

I'm tired of this familiar feeling of emptiness and loneliness. Spending long periods of time alone has made me feel like everything is just going to get worse and nothing's gonna get better. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired.

I'm tired of having nothing to look forward each day. Tired of this feeling of uselessness. Tired of having nothing to cherish. Tired of boredom. Tired of mediocrity. Tired of being unsatisfied. Just... Tired.

Blogging about something...

2007-09-30T10:42:00.000+08:00

Funny how there are a lot of instances when people say "Oh, this is such a bloggable moment," and they do end up blogging about it. I'm not one of those people. I say, "Oh, this is such a bloggable moment," and I end up forgetting about it. Probably it's induced by my useless PC that hasn't been doing anything but take up 50% of my table space and gather dust (and yeah, become a shelf for some other useless stuff).

So to deviate from that oh so pathetic act of mine, this is me trying to blog about things that I do think are worth blogging about.

***

No More Tour for Me...
I decided a few days ago to back out from the planned US Tour of my choir. Besides the fact that I don't have a passport yet and VISA application's starting next week, it's just too much of a hassle for me. After receiving my first ever failed exam in OrgChem, I realize how much I have been lazying around with my academic life, which is the main reason why I'm here in Manila. Not to mention the fact that I'll be in medschool next year and that would really yield a lot of money from my family. A lot of things are going in and I think adding the US Tour would be too much for me, considering I'm already on the brink of a nervous breakdown.

***

My first Medal from UP...
Last Friday the SSWC (the PE Dept.) of UP-Manila had its inter-class Table Tennis tournament and yours truly was one of the representatives of our section (HEG). Me and Joan (for mixed doubles), Serine (Women's Singles) and Dingdong (Men's Singles) played our best for pride and honor for our class. Fortunately, we placed second overall.. WEE!!! It was such an unexpected win considering that not one of us players were really formally trained in Table Tennis and only Dingdong and I consider it as one of our sports. It was pretty cool when we played our best without expecting anything and ended up winning something. They gave us these large silver medals, probably the only one I'll ever receive from UP considering my very dismal academic performance. Haha, then the next day we had our BioLab exam which completely took away the euphoria of the win.

***

Staying (yet again) in Manila for three weeks alone...
I don't know but for some reason, I feel like my family doesn't even miss my absence. I guess it was pretty much a non-verbal agreement but my mom confirmed it a few weeks ago. She asked me when classes would end and I gave her the last day of the sem but she said she was asking the one before Christmas. That settled it for me, I am not going home for the Sem Break and it's such a sad thing since I would be missing out on a lot of things. First would be the usual Kalag-kalag activities that our family does during the break and this would be the second time that I'll be missing it. Then there's Teetin's debut and Sara's birthday that I would be missing since I'm stuck here in Manila. *sigh

***

School's a bitch...
These past few days have been so hard for me physically and mentally. The exams just keep pouring in and they don't test the things that we learned but rather slap us with things that we don't know. Now, it seems failure is not such a bad thing after all. It's not like I would die or anything..
It's 11:10 am and I'm here in this net cafe and we have BioLab exams and a BioLec quiz tomorrow.. Great... My life's such a paradise...

Bored

2007-09-11T15:19:00.000+08:00

Please click this link: xpango
I want a new phone...

US Tours

2007-08-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

Ate Jamine (this super hot and super bait medchoir member) announced during our last choir practice yesterday that Dean Roxas (the almighty dean of the College of Medicine) gave us his blessing regarding our plans about having a US Tour this coming May 2008. Now this gave me mixed feelings of excitement, anxiety and hopeful/lessness. Coming from a not-so well-off family from a not-so urbanized hometown, it's really not a surprising fact about me that I haven't been to the States, or any other foreign country for that matter. I do not have a Passport nor a VISA to somehow help me in joining this tour.

My parents, not-surprisingly, have no idea about the stuff that I do in my org. They don't know that I belong to a choir that has already received a number of awards here and abroad. They don't know that we do concerts and actually earn from them. They don't know that we sing for almost any event that we could possibly do. What they do know is that I belong to a choir. Being a member, it's somehow expected of me to do whatever it takes just so that I could participate in the upcoming tour. Now here's thing, I need 91,000 Php for fare, paperwork and interstate fees. Not to mention the money I need to process for my passport. On top of this all, I haven't really told my parents about this tour. So now, the million dollar question is that, how am I supposed to come up with that amount of money by next year?

Impossible is just a word, so says that TV-add. But for a kid like me (yup, still a kid here, not yet an adult) who lives on 200 pesos a day and could barely save to buy himself a pair of briefs, 91000 is a huge amount of money to come up with. Now I'm thinking of just blending into the support group and wait for more bountiful years to come where I can hopefully join the next tour. *sigh, such a sad sad fate.

Deathly Hallows

2007-07-22T10:10:00.000+08:00

The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death

I am typing down this entry in a laptop that I do not own, just minutes after I completed reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, all thirty-six chapters plus the epilogue of it... And all I can say is... WOW!!!

I'm one of those people who have already started reading the book a day before it was released. I got hold of some jpeg files with snapshots of every spread of the book (from my ever giving room mate, Patrick). Instead of pouring all my attention to studying for our org chem exams yesterday (which was dreadful by the way), I spent most of my free time reading every word, crystal clear or blurry they may be, of the book from the laptop I am using right now (owned by my other ever giving room mate, JF).

Deathly Hallows was worth every minute that I spent on it which was supposed to be spent on studying. It had everything, humor, action, drama, romance, etc. all bound into one spectacular read. I only stopped reading when I needed to pee, sh*t, eat food and study a little bit for the exams. It never failed to cause goosebumps to spread out in every inch of my body. I could feel my heart pumping, my veins pulsing with every page turned, every mystery unraveled, every question answered and every spell casted. A lot of people died (I'm sure everyone expected that, it's the last book for pete's sake) which added much to the dark ambiance that JK was trying to create. I tip my hat to JK for magical book which kept me on the edge of my seat (although I'm sorry for reading the pirated version).

With each piece on place, and the last battle done, I now close the door of Harry Potter's magical world. The first ever series of books that I have finished reading (without owning a single book of the series), Harry Potter has become a great part of my reading life, and will probably influence me in the years to come. It made me experience a world unbound by the limitations of the world. And although I'm already of age in the wizarding world, I'm still hoping for that owl to bring me my letter and informing me of a magical world that's inviting me to come in. And with that, I shall Disapparate with a loud pop.

Envy (A Sad, Angry, Pathetic and probably stupid entry, read at your own risk)

2007-07-10T12:00:00.000+08:00

Pennyless and PCless, yup that's me. Yesterday I've felt like I've reached one of the lowest moments of my life. It's pretty pathetic of me to return to blogging just to remind the world just how sad my life is. But, yes, though I am pretty satisfied with my life, it doesn't prevent me from being sad, mad and annoyed with just about everyone around me.

My computer's busted. Genius me decided one day to reformat my PC since it can't connect with our dorm's wifi and guess what, I ended up with a non-working computer. It seems my computer's soul has finally abandoned me, after constant abuse and never cleaning it. See, after installing XP and rebooting the computer, it doesn't go beyong the windows is loading display since it suddenly blacks out for some reason unknown to someone taking up med. And now I'm here in this cafe hoping that some computer genius would one day knock on my door and repair my PC or, better yet, some millionaire comes to my dorm and for no reason at all gives me an HP Compaq 2710p Notebook PC. *sigh

Pennyless, yes, that was me yesterday which lead to my utter disrespect of my mother. Yesterday, literally I didn't have a penny to my name. It was so pathetic of me. I had two pieces of bread and a glass of iced coffee for breakfast and nothing for the rest of the day since I already spent my last money on that very small breakfast. Why was I moneyless you ask? It just seems that my mother forgot to send me some money. Though I texted her almost every hour she kept on telling me to wait until my day ended with me going to my tita's resto to eat dinner and borrow some money. Wow, salamat talaga sa araw na yon, as in...

Everything in my life right now is just so sad. I'm annoyed to a point of anger at my mother for making me starve yesterday and yet I can't tell her that, or else risk another maternal feud. I'm annoyed at my tito for giving me that sh*tty PC whereas he can easily give me one of those laptops he has lying around. I'm angry at this unfair world. I'm envious at all those other people who can afford my wants and semi-needs. I'm angry at myself for letting these ugly stuff get to me knowing that I still have a lot to be happy about.... sheesh...

So to all of those people who hate sarcastic, angry, envious and pathetic people, start hating me now coz after what I have been through so far, I think nothing is going to upset more than what I feel now... Trust me...

A Weird Condition (A sucky entry)

2007-06-15T14:36:00.000+08:00

I am a medical student. Even though I'm still in my premed years, me and my batchmates are already considered part of the UP College of Medicine, which is both kinda cool and kinda sucky. Cool because at a young age (I'm still 17) I have the right to say that I go to medschool. Sucky because most of the time we imed students are forgotten to be part of the college.
But I'm not here to complain about this, I'm here to talk about the weird condition I am currently experiencing with my body. Due to the lack of knowledge in the medical field I can't explain this phenomenon, which sucks.

Everytime I laugh or yawn, my nape and around 60% of my shoulders hurt, and I don't know why. It sucks everytime when someone cracks a joke and I try to laugh just to end up with aching shoulders which, apparently to my friends is even more reason to laugh harder coz they think its funny. SO fine, haha. But this is just half of my weird condition.

I seem to have lost my singing voice (or what I thought was my singing voice). I currently speak with a voice that's so low it doesn't sound my age. When I try to speak at a higher voice, I end up with a hoarse and sometimes squeaky voice, which sends some of my peers to hysterical laughter. But the worst thing about this state of my voice, is that I can't sing properly. Probably the only talent that I think I have and now it's gone. Everytime I try to sing songs that I can easily sing before this condition, I end up yet again with a squeaky voice, you should hear me sing now, it's really funny. Now, I'm trying to rest my voice by missing my choir practices. I really wish I can have my voice back by next week, I really want to sing in our coming gigs.

It's pretty ironic. People know me as the funny and bubbly Nil and now I have to experience certain pains to express my happiness. It seems like I'm sick, but unlike what they usually say, with my condition, laughter is, apparently, not the best medicine.

Spider Nil!

2007-05-13T20:52:00.001+08:00

Two whole days have passed with me sitting two feet from the television watching whatever there is on the tely... After realizing that watching the TV for two days is too, uh, idle and was already boring me, I decided to switch the TV off and sit somewhere else... now I'm sitting around 1 1/2 feet in front of my computer... Haha, I think this activity is more health than just sitting in front of the TV coz I get to burn more calories since my fingers are moving... Ehehe, right...

Anyway, while surfing the net I stumbled upon the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz and...

My results are:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man		75%
Green Lantern		65%
Superman		60%
Robin		57%
Catwoman		55%
Iron Man		55%
Supergirl		40%
The Flash		40%
Hulk		35%
Wonder Woman		30%
Batman		25%

You are intelligent, witty,

a bit geeky and have great

power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Weee! I'm Spidey! haha... I'm really happy with my results since I really like Spiderman above all the other Superheroes. I mean you have to admit he is pretty cool. Jumping around, doing all sorts of acrobatics, sticking on walls, web-slinging. This is probably why the Spidey movies earn so much (although the third installment was pretty crappy and cheezy and so theatrical... or is that just me?).

Spiderman's character is so cool since it makes having superpowers so possible. All you have to do is find the arachnid (or insect or mollusk or some other animal) of your choice, expose it to some radioactive energy and let it bite you in whatever part of your body (although the hand is the more preferred bite-location) and after a day, you'll get that arachnid's (or insect or mollusk or some other animal) abilities. Although there is a risk of you getting not just the abilities but also the look of the animal of your choice, it is still pretty cool!

I also realize that Peter Parker and I have a lot in common. For one thing, he's a nerd and likes Physics and is good at it just like me. Although currently I'm not doing so good in school and my being good in Physics is entirely self-proclaimed and me pretending to be good at something in school. Another thing is that Peter is someone who likes taking pictures that's why he is a photographer. I also like taking pictures of different stuff although 75 % of the time the camera is facing me (haha!). I can't think of other stuff that would put Peter Parker and me in the same category but I believe there are other stuff, the quiz said so!

It's pretty weird that there's a 55% that I can be Catwoman, 40% of being Supergirl and 30% of being Wonder Woman. Okay... So there is a chance of me becoming a female superhero, and I'm wondering how's that possible...

Other thoughts in my mind: Stat Lab Project (although it's just 5% of our whole math 101 grade), Stat Lec Exam, PI 100 papers, days to go till trip to Surigao.

This is Leon... Out!

P.S. : The quiz said that I am intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility. So full of myself right now... (geeky makes me cute right?)

Feeling

2007-05-04T22:59:00.001+08:00

I feel really spent during these past few days... This day wasn't at all good for me. The quiz (that freaking math 101 lab quiz), the paper, and the things to learn couple all of these with a splitting headache and what do you get? Poof! There's Coco crunch! Haha, poor me... trying to be hilarious.. so pathetic...

I just wish I could close my eyes and sleep all of my worries away and wake up in our humble house in Surigao. I so freaking want to go home already. Good thing my mom gave the go signal that I could go home after the summer classes. Sometimes I feel like an outcast of our own house. Always a visitor in his own family's house and having to live in a suitcase. So sad...

Yun lang...

All of this school work is really sucking me dry making me feel like the existence of this blog is just a complete waste of time. Hohum...

Out!

I am the Curreny Avatar! Bow down before me!

2007-04-21T16:54:00.001+08:00

I still feel pretty groggy today. I slept at around 1am kanina because I was watching a lot of stuff in the TV. Too much that I can't even remember what I watched, though I could recall some colorful cartoons... haha....

Groggy Me was caused by small hours of sleep because I woke up at ~~6:45~~ ~~7:00~~ ~~7:15~~ 7:30 AM. I still had to go to our stat meeting so that we can have something to pass on Monday for Stat Lab. After taking a cold shower and slipping into my the-worst-day-of-anything-is-better-than-the-best-day-of-school shirt and some shorts, I decided to walk to the place where we should meet: Cerealicious at this strip along taft ave. It was a good thing that the sun wasn't as awake as me otherwise I would've never reached the place without losing liters of water. When I got there only Bo's was open so I waited for my group mates to arrive. Then we decided to have our meeting in Bo's since Cerealicious wasn't opened yet. Then we talked... talk talk talk.... numbers number numbers... stat stat stat...

Then we had lunch at SEX and I ate a plate of pork adobo/lechon paksiw. Then, when we thought we were done, I went home.

Now I'm waiting for Avatar to start in Nick toons. I'm really a fan of this cartoon.. Haha... Little me wants to watch some cartoons! weeee!!!! I'm just typing this down so that 10 min would pass already...

T_T

T_T

T_T

T_T

Now ten minutes have already passed...

Ciao!

This is Leon.. Out!

Hindi kaya ako GC!

2007-04-19T23:01:00.001+08:00

GC... Grade Conscious - adj. someone who is so conscious about how his/her grades are doing... Definitely something that you can't describe me. GC? Me? No no no no...

It doesn't matter how atat I was to know all of my grades. It doesn't matter if I already made a table of my grades for the second sem. It doesn't matter if I have already computed my average for the sem for about five times today already and get the same set of numbers each time: a number a fraction above 1.75. It doesn't even matter if I computed for what grade I should have for Chem Lab just so that I can have a CS-worthy average. No, all of these don't matter because I am not grade conscious! I don't care about grades! I don't care if there's a very minute chance that I'll be a CS for that sem. I don't really care. I don't care about the fact that a little bit more effort from me could've make me a CS.

No, really, I don't care!

....

...

..

.

Who am I kidding? I'm just sad that I wasn't able to do what I'm capable of. So much for the new sem's resolutions...

This is Leon... Out!

Missing Home-Cooked Meals...

2007-04-15T21:39:00.001+08:00

Everyone of my friends know how deeply attached I am with food. They know of my peculiar way of treasuring food and how I always say (along with other stuff that I usually say) that food is indeed, "The Best Gift from God"... along with love, family, friends, coffee, chocolate (oh wait that's food too... hehe). This special thing that I have with food springs from the fact that food is a big necessity and giving it special treatment is simply doing what I believe is right! (Yeah, therefore food should be the universal currency... people who have more food are the more powerful! Nyahahahaha!)

Food. When you look at my clothed body (take not... clothed) you wouldn't immediately think that I am a food-lover. Sure I don't have those six-pack abs or those large biceps but I do have a body mass appropriate for my height and age and a relatively active lifestyle. Having this type of body makes it, for me, okay to indulge in gluttonous acts like eating five plates of rice if tasty food is present on the table or eating food (junk, healthy, whatever) every five minutes.

However, living alone has completely deprived me of such wonders of life. I am only able to do such when I'm at home with my Mama Dearest cooking the best meals that I could imagine. Since high school I have already lived on eating meals that are limited. Now, in college, I have to budget my own money and only eat food that is practical and just right so that I'll stay alive till the next batch of money-to-be-spent arrives.

Living alone is hard. Although people think that I should have mastered this art completely since I already started living away in high school, the pain of this fact's slap only started when college-life arrived. Trying to balance every aspect of your life while still nourishing yourself properly is no easy task, especially for someone like me who is not so well-off. After my first year of college I have experienced things that really caught me off-guard and almost caused me to experience hunger (as in walang makain) for the first time. I have learned of stuff that I think living in our humble home wouldn't teach me. I also learned to appreciate stuff that I usually took for granted. After all of this, I think I already know a little bit better.

But to all of this, one thing is for sure... I'm just beginning. And till the day comes that I wake up greeted by home-cooked meals made by a lovely wife in a decent abode, I'll just settle with my current state of revering food as one of God's greatest gifts.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

2007-04-11T18:26:00.001+08:00

I can't believe it! Hahahaha! I just don't know how it happened... Hindi talaga ako makapaniwala... As in dili jud ko katuo... OMG!!!!

If you have read my previous post (No? Then read it!... Please?) I talked about how wrong it felt to have exams during holy week. Now, I just found out another thing to bombard with my wrong-ness philosophy(?) with...

2.25!!! 2.25!!! 2.25!!! 2.25!!! 2.25!!! 2.25!!!

Haha, I'm going crazy... Ehem (trying to keep composure... but failing)... I just checked if some of our grades were already posted in the CRS website and found a glittering and immaculate 2.25 beside the very torturous subject Math 100!!! Upon laying my eyes on the three-digit gift from God, I heard thousands of angels singing, "Alleluia, praise the Lord!"... Hahaha, I just feel so happy right now. This may be a very over the top reaction but who could blame me, that's Math 100 for crying out loud! Not only does it sound like a hard subject but it is a hard subject and I can't imagine how I was able to undergo such torture and still come out with a bit of sanity left... Wohoo! However, this grade that I received, somehow feels wrong...

(the following statements are stuff that I would definitely stand by if I were a saint... sadly I am not)

Like I said, Math 100 is a very very hard subject. Our class with Dr. Magboo (yeah, it's a weird name, I know) constituted of only 30-minute waits for him to come (with the usual countdown to free cut) and 30-45 - minute discussions of stuff to complex for me to comprehend discussed at rates to fast for me to catch up. Sitting in a chair with Dr. Magboo blabbering in front was no different from sitting in a chair and staring at someone talking in tongues you don't know.

Then, we are expected to pass his four exams. Now let me tell you what it feels like sitting in these exams. After studying for so many hours at masochistic rates, it always seems like all of the effort was futile coz teachers will always come up with problems poor me can't even imagine answering. I always end up feeling depressed and spent after answering each exam that those sadistic teachers throw at us. It was a great relief that I was able to pass the first exam with a score of 68/100 but there was no doubt in my mind that I failed the following exams. Based on what I can remember and what I felt after taking the following two exams, I really expected that I would take the removals. Though after taking the relatively easier final exams, I really thought it wasn't enough to give me passing grades. This is why a 2.25 (though a very big relief) grade from how I performed feels so wrong. I really think I deserve a 4 or a 5 from how I did in the subject. I feel like I don't deserve my grade and that my grade is a product of our prof's imagination and magical powers. It just feels so wrong receiving something that I do not deserve. However...

(back to normal self)

I am going to accept this grade without any heaviness in my heart. After all, it is somewhat like a blessing and one should not resist blessings. My 2.25 rocks! hahaha... If you would base my grade on the effort I put into the subject, I think I deserve a flat one, however, since it is not based on effort alone, I'll just settle with m 2.25... 2.25!! 2.25!!! twoooo poooiiiint twooooo fiiiiiiiive!!! Buwahahaha!

Ehem... Moving on.. I just finished enrolling myself for our summer classes... We'll be taking up Math 101 and PI 100 for the summer which means that I am going to try to survive the scorching Manila heat for the rest of the summer... Enrolling took a lot of time since this person who was supposed to sign our form fives was in this meeting and we had to wait for almost three hours to proceed to the OUR (which was in another city block) and pay our fees. I had to use some of my own money to pay for my tuition since mom only sent me 2000 because I told her that the fees wouldn't go beyond that amount. I ended up using my own 500 peso bill as an addition since the tuition was 2449 pesos. I also borrowed 500 from JF since I was the one enrolling for Patrick and he only gave me 2000 pesos too...

Hmm... Ano pa? Oh yeah, I'm now on the 29th volume of the Bleach Manga and boy this Manga rocks! I'm also reading the Death Note Manga which also pretty cool... I'm in the 7th volume already... I think I'm slowly becoming a bum with my life revolving around stories of one person who becomes a shinigami (a death god) and another person who has a notebook that causes the death of another person if he writes the name in it... I wish I had the same notebook, I think I'll probably kill Sanjaya of AI first because I'm so annoyed that he's still in the show despite the lack of talent (purely opinionated statement)... Next probably I'll kill George Bush for pushing other countries around for their own benefit (the FBI will probably kill me for this, but who cares?)....
....

I should probably stop right now since I'm having murderous thoughts already and it's not good for my health.. This is Leon.. OUT!

Math Finals during Holy Tuesday

2007-04-02T19:53:00.001+08:00

Wrong! With a capital R, err, W! My last day of my first year as a college student just feels so wrong!

After lazying around for two days in this cramped space I call "dorm room", I will finally take my final exams for Math 100 tomorrow, April 2, 2007, Holy Tuesday. Yes, you heard right, HOLY!

It just feels so wrong that I have to study for my finals during days that Christians are supposed to reminisce what Christ did for us. Now, I'm not acting all Holy and Religious, believe me, I'm very far from it. It's just that Holy Week is one of those occasions that I live up to my being someone who actually has a religion. Though I do not really do all of those religious practices (I can't keep my mouth off meat!) and there are some Christian ideas that I don't agree with, I still have this belief that Christ did in fact save us from sin. And taking exams and focusing all of my attention to remember whatever I know about Calculus is really not an appropriate way of spending the first few days of the Holy Week.

Now I'm here trying to study my ass off so that I can have decent grades in Math 100. Based on my score from the first exam and from what I felt after taking the next three exams, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to fail Math 100 if don't get an acceptable score from the finals. *sigh, so wrong, it just feels so wrong...

Oh well... This is Leon.. OUT!

There' s still something

2007-03-25T19:54:00.001+08:00

I just received an email from a friend...

In it I saw a name

A name beside an email add

I know that name...

A name that I know by heart...

I know the owner of that name...

The owner's face flashed in my mind... smiling

I haven't seen the owner for a long time...

I felt a certain tingling in my toes...

A certain churning in my tummy...

A certain lump in my throat...

A certain heaviness in my chest...

I hope the owner is happy... with school, with life...

I really miss the owner...

I hope she misses me too... even for a little bit...

I guess I'm not yet over the owner... Maybe tomorrow... Maybe next week... Maybe next month... year... God, who knows?

"Di ko na alam ang full name niya, that means I'm over him" --> Via Alip, an intarmed classmate of mine, said this... What does this make me? I'm still under this, not yet over.. Haha... Basta ganun....

Classes are over and yet I still have exams... So sad...

Now I'm dreading for a boring summer here in Manila, f*cking summer classes...

This is Leon... OUT!

First exam-free saturday in five/six weeks..

2007-03-17T10:59:00.000+08:00

Hay salamat, matapos ang mahabang panahon, andito na naman ako, trying to make an entry worth ng attention ng mga tao. A lot of things have happened since i posted that entry of mine about my tear-jerking birthday celebration. Besides the fact that I'm still alive and breathing...

Memberized (n. the process of finally becoming a member of an org that you really want after months of being a trainee)
Finally, after almost a year of attending trainee practices and learning the right ways of breathing, raising the soft palate, maintaining the diaphragm support, the yawn-sighs, the diaphragm pushes, the concerts and gigs and the time and effort spent, I'm proud to say that I am now officially a member of the Choir of the UP College of Medicine, the UP MedChoir (loud applause...) Ang saya no?

A lot of Exams
What's new? Hello, Intarmed life anyone?

Interview with an author
For a requirement in Kom III we had to interview someone who had achieved something in any field. We chose the author of a very controversial, daring and very good book who, incidentally, is a student of UPCM...
We interviewed Mr. Louie Mar A. Gangcuangco of iMed batch 2010. Besides the fact that it was easy for us to reach him since we go to the same school, we interviewed him because we really wondered how he was able to write despite the very toxic life as a Medstudent. We interviewed him last night and it was very fun. He had a lot to say that would be very good for our project. I already read the book and I have to say, besides being almost pornographic, it was pretty good. It's not the best book that I have read but its mix of romance (which was all about gay love), scientific info about HIV-AIDS, sex and a whole bunch of other things makes it a book worth of my time and money.

Hanggang dito na lang muna. Tinatamad pa ako magsulat ng maayos eh... hehe...

This is Leon... Out!

Ang Maging Daisy Syete and 5 days old...

2007-02-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

Medyo matagal-tagal din akong nawala sa aksyon dahil sa mga di mapigil na mga pangyayari... Unang-una, di pa rin tumitigil ang pananakal ng UP sa aming mga kawawang iMed student, they're still the same sadistic people who take joy in our suffering... Palagi ring nagloloko ang aming internet. Kasabay ng TAEic performance ng aking computer at wireless adapter, palagi namang napuputol ang connection, so sad talaga so much to the superest level...

PERO.... sa kabila nitong lahat, nakukuha ko pa ring maging masaya... Aba, why not? Like I said in my previous entry, I'm living a life that I freely chose and I have the best crowd behind me to back me up... Mas sumaya pa ako dahil sa mga pinakarecent events na nangyayari sa buhay ko...

Disclaimer lang muna, kung napapansin nyo, kakaiba na naman ang aking style of writing sa entry kong ito... Siguro it's something that I really need to show. Di ko kailangang magpretend, kasi sa totoo lang naman, I'm not that good sa English nor sa Tagalog and I'm really working on these ineffecient language skills of mine... Pero sa ngayon, habang di pa ako isang walking dictionary or naglalakad na sanggunian ng mga salita, I'll write in a way that I'm most comfortable...

Maaaring gusto ninyong itanong kung paano sinelebrate ni uber special me ang kanyang 17th birthday. Sinuswerto kayo kasi noon pa ako kating-kati ikuwento ang isa sa mga pinakamasayang araw ng buhay ko... (music na related sa flashback mood plays)

It was a weird thing for my iMed classmates to start greeting me and anticipating for my birthday a few days before dumating nga ang aking kaarawan. For one thing, valentine's season kung kaya I really never expected for this, then unimportant but now I come to realize worth celebrating, event of my life to receive even the slightest attention. But I just let all of these things pass, after all, it's really a day not worth celebrating. Then Feb. 16 came, the usual texts from people who remembered arrived in my cellphone with me spending all of my credits replying thank yous to every person who greeted me. I distinctly remember being awake when the clock struck twelve AM that day, I was making my laboratory reports (yes with an s) for bio.

Then I went to school, nagpa-late ako kaunti kasi nga tinatapos ko pa yung mga drawings ko sa biolab ko. I was pretty happy when I arrived at the bio labs because my whole class remembered my birthday and they started greeting me. At that point, sobrang saya na ako kasi nga naalala nila. Then when I tried entering our room, ayaw ako papasukin, may ginagawa daw yung mga kablock ko, so ako naman hintay lang din... Then nung pinapasok ako, natuwa naman ako kasi they sang a Happy Birthday Song for me in a very joyous chorus. Syempre ako, natuwa naman. Then I tried cramming the blanks of my report when Cybill called me to go near them. Lumapit naman ako. Laking tuwa ako nang binigyan nila ako ng gift, nakawrap sa isang yellow paper tapos galing daw sa not-so Mean Girls (definition: a group of 5/6 [hindi pa ata fully converted and isa] intellectual, super bait at times and mataray and nang-aaway naman at other times, at super-uber-duper ganda girls ng iMed 2013) tapos nung binuksan ko, colorful post-it flags para daw di na ako kawawa sa pagmark ng pages. Natuwa naman ako kasi bumili ako ng ganun the day before pero di hamak naman na mas maganda yung bigay nila, ako naman, thank you lang nang thank you... Afterwards si Cedes naman binigyan niya ako ng wrapped soft thingy, gift daw niya sa akin... Ako naman sobrang natuwa kasi may gifts ako... Thank you ako ulit ng thank you! Then classes proceeded (bla bla bla bla)...

Then Serine and CJ suddenly told me na ililibre daw nila ako ng lunch kasi Bday ko, ako naman nahiya kasi ako nga dapat ang manglilibre pero wala nga ako pera so ok lang daw. Punta kami ng Karate Kid tapos kain ng marami. Afterwards nagGBox kami, tapos nakakanta ako ng eight songs sa videoke... So fun fun fun! Tapos balik uli sa klase... Class class class...

During Math 100 class naman namin nung day na yun, the last subject for the day, napansin kong ang daming wala isip ko naman, siguro may thing sila kaya super busy. SO yun... math 100 ulit, sakit ulo, di makita ang sulat, labas ng class totally confused.. Then pat and eys suddenly asked me kung gusto ko ba daw kumain ng halo-halo... Since bday ko nga, pumayag na lang ako, afterall, minsan-minsan lang ako makapagindulge sa mga sweets of life... Tapos stay kami dun for quite some time... Talk talk talk... Then dumating si Kim, medyo nagworry siya sa ChemLab Exam niya tapos kinonsole namin siya... Console console console....

Nung pauwi na kami sa dorm, eys told us na gusto daw niya mag-stay muna sa amin para mag-study daw kasi nga ChemLab Exam namin the next day (nagpa-advance si Kim kasi may previous engagement na daw siya for the exam date) so yun... Tapos lakad-lakad kami, bili ako food for dinner kasi nga gutom ako (fried chicke and rice worth 35 pesos)... Then we reached our dorm... So pasok kami, hinahanap ko si JF that time kasi nga 9PM na tapos di pa siya masyado nagpaparamdam, isip ko naman baka with his labiduts... When we were in the garage of our building, I noticed na may parang yellow light sa loob ng room namin... I told pat about it and said to him may ilaw sa room namin... Di naman niya ako pinansin, isip ko lang din, baka study lamp lang... nagtitipid ng kuryente... Then we reached the gate of our floor, tapos wala daw key si Pat so ako nagbukas ng gate... Then I inserted the key of our room sa doorknob namin... Then pag-open ko...
..........................
.........................
........................
.....................
...................
...............
.............
...........
...........
.........
pag-open ko
........................
......................
.................
..............
..........
.......
....
..
.
I saw candles, as in really burning candles followed by one of the warmest Happy Birthday Songs that I have heard in my entire life... Then I saw some familiar faces holding up cakes with candles stuck into them to me... Ako naman, sobrang surprised, freaked out, namula, natuwa, na-shock, lumayo at medyo nasiraan na din ng ulo... There they were: JF, joanne, joan, athena, bean, lorraine and CJ (I really hope wala akong nakalimutan kasi makakalimutin talaga ako...) holding up pastries with candles on top singing the birthday song with pat and eys... Ako naman, di ko talaga maintindihan naramdaman ko... Then they told me to blow the candles... Ako naman nagblow din... Then they turned on the lights of our room tapos nakita ko, may balloons and some bags on my bed tapos may pizza boxes and a caldero of ice sa side ng bed ko... Sa tables naman may cups and paper plates at mga fat bottles of softdrinks... Then they told me to open my gifts daw pointing to the bags on my bed... It was then that I realized na oo nga, shopping bags yung mga nandun... So yun kinuha ko na nga ang dalawang bags na nasa bed ko... Pinaopen sa akin ang isang maliit na red mossimo bag.. Tapos pag-open ko, bumulaga sa akin ang shirt na nagustuhan ko nung dumaan kami sa shop ng mossimo nung day na yun... Natuwa ako sobra... While all of these were happening, di ko pa masyado naabsorb ang mga nangyayari... Then they told me to open the bigger bag... Oo nga, sabi ko sa sarili ko, may isa pa pala, ang it's big... Then I brought the big blue adidas paper bag towards my face and opened it and peeped inside and saw one of the best material gifts that I received sa buhay ko... I have repeatedly said in our room kasi everytime I see that paracetamol commercial by John Lloyd Cruz how I really like the bag that he used in the commercial... Kung nanonood kayo ng local TV and have seen the commercial na, mapapansin ninyong ang bag in question ay isang puting messenger's bag... At yun ang nakita ko sa loob ng paper bag, the object of my affections for the past few days na nakikita ko ang ad na yun tapos tiningnan ko sila with, probably, the most shocked expression that my face could show... Sinabi din nila na the bag was the gift daw of the whole iMed class for me... Tapos naramdaman ko na lang na nadidistort na ang muscles sa mukha ko and lumiliit na ang opening ng eyes ko... Umiyak na pala ako... Yes, umiyak na pala ako... Then lumapit sa akin si JF and hinug niya ako together with the crowd na nandun... So siguro naman, with this info, alam niyo na kung gaano ako kasaya nung mga sandaling iyon... (moment of silence please)

Then somebody said na kainan na... Oo nga pala, may food pala, wala pa pala akong dinner.. So yun kumain kami... I wasn't able to eat a lot kasi sobrang shocked pa rin ako... I kept on replaying the stuff that have happened for the past few minutes and kept on saying to myself, ok, di ito imagination mo... This is for real... Then yun na nga talk talk kami... Picture picture... Kain ng marami... Tapos kinain ko yung cake na centerpiece sa mga pastries na may candle... Iningatan ko talagang kainin yung circular blackforrest cake na yun... Ako naman sarap-na-sarap ang di pa rin maintindihan ang maramdaman... Basta one thing's for sure masayang-masaya ako nun... One of things that really made me happy sa surprise na yun was the candles and the cake... Sa mga di pa po nakakaalam, that was my first ever experience of blowing candles over my cake sa 16 bdays na dumaan na before that... That was my first ever cake din na para lang sa akin kasi birthday ko... Sobrang saya talaga ako...

Then the party ended kasi nga may exam pa kami the next day and kailangan pa nilang mag-aral.. So umuwi na sila... Hug ko silang lahat at walang tigil na pasasalamat yung binigay ko... They really made me happy.... After nun, linis kami, ako naman feel ko nasira ulo ko kasi tawa ako nang tawa on my own tapos smile lang ako palagi... SOBRANG SAYA KO TALAGA... HEHE... I CAN'T HELP BUT SMILE EVERYTIME I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT... Tapos aral na kami ng chemlab (panira)...

Aftermath: the next day, saturday, chemlab exam, pasok ako ng room, I was using the new bag (now known as THE BAG.. haha, joke)... Ako naman, hiyang-hiya sa buong class ko... Then I asked JF to help me say thank you sa kanilang lahat... Tapos nasa harapan na ako, saying thank you nang paulit-ulit hanggang feel ko nagsawa na sila dun... pero yun talaga eh... sobrang thankful talaga ako... Pero sa totoo lang, di pa yun yung gusto ko talagang sabihin, kung may iMed na babasa nito, ito talaga ang gusto kong sabihin:

Hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin maisip kung anong nagawa ko to deserve your time and effort and money just to make me feel happy, accepted, special and, uh, happy sa birthday ko... Di ko lubos maisip na sa short time na naging bahagi ako ng buhay ninyo at kayo ng buhay ko ay naisipan niyo nang bigyan ako ng sobrang honor ng inyong attention and time to stop and remember me... I know a simple thank you won't be enough to express my heartfelt gratitude towards you guys for giving me that day na minsan I ask myself if I really deserve what you gave me... Despite my very very very obvious flaws, inhibitions and imperfections, I'm glad na I can safely say that I'm very much accepted ng mga kasama ko for the next seven years... I'm happy na siguro because of that day, I can say that, sana, I have been a good classmate, minsan utusan and helper, minsan tutor, minsan student but most of all friend sa inyong lahat and I have reached you in a good way... Whatever I have done to deserve your time, I pray na sana I continue doing it, di para bigyan ninyo ako uli ng party pero kung gusto niyo ok lang talaga sa akin Ü, but to continue being a good part of our class that I have learned to cherish and love despite the short time and the hard academic demands... Sana all of us will stay together as one whole class till 2013 and beyond... Be rest assured that I will take care of your gift to me, and I will always remember Feb. 16, 2007 as one of the happiest days of my life...Ü Si God na lang bahala magbalik sa inyo ng binigay niyong kasiyahan sa akin... Again, Salamat Doctors! From the bottom of my heart, lungs, intestine and everything...Ü
Special thanks pala sa room mates ko, sina JF and Patrick, sa mga kapwa Mindanao pipz ko, sina CJ and eys, and kay Serine din na palagi naming kasama ni CJ sa lunch and other stuff... I'm sure kayo ang mga masterminds sa nangyari nung friday... Thank you talaga... Sa mga nandun din para icelebrate yung bday ko with me despite the exams the next day, salamat uli!!!Ü
Yun, di ako excellent magsulat so sana magets niyo kung gaanong pasasalamat ang pinapahiwatig ko... Sobra!!!

*Sigh, nadagdagdagan din yung kasiyahan ko kanina kasi nakuha ko na yung Cert of Merit ko for being a CS last sem... La lang...
Haha... Wow, ang haba nito ah... Sana umabot kayo dito.. Hehe... Ingats mga bumabasa ng blog ko...

This is Leon... Out!

New Layout... New Link... New Site Name!

2007-02-11T14:49:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm here again... Yesterday we had our exams for Chem 14 and Bio 22 and now I'm all good. Haha... The exams weren't that hard actually in my opinion. Good thing I worked my ass off studying for the exams and I really pray that all of it would pay off...

Anyway, I should be studying for our Math100 exams tomorrow but I'm not in the mood so I decided to do some other stuff. While I was watching the TV, I suddenly wanted to change the layout and skin of my blog... I decided that it's time for me to adapt a happier and lighter life that's full of flavor... By the way my blog can now be accessed through this address:

http://ferdylicious.blogspot.com

Actually it's what Jacques said in my Tagbox that really got me thinking into changing how my blog looks... He said: "nil, i guess it's time to let go of being nothing-justpatheticme. apparently, you have a life! and a wonderful MEDLIFE ahead of you. hehe. suggestion laang! :D"
And, well, he's more than right... I have to let go of that link. Apparently, I do have a life and it's not pathetic, far from it... I'm in a course that I thought would be a far-fetched dream and yet I'm living it right now (sometimes I enjoy it, but most of the time I don't.. LOLz)... If I just do good I can have a very bright future and I just have to go through my "Wonderful MEDLIFE". So there, I changed my blog... I realized that I don't have to wallow in my misery and I have to look at my glass half-full (or a quarter-filled or even just partially filled)... In living this chapter of my life, I have the best bunch of friends a person like me can have. Also, I have the best family in the world that's willing to sacrifice for my sake... This is why gone are the days that I act alone, act cold and act miserable. I don't have to walk under the rain or sit in one dark corner like in the movies or TV because I don't have a reason for that...

Anyway here are the other influences for the sudden transformation of my blog:

the ferdy is from the Ferdinand in my name. I usually hate being called Ferdy but nowadays more and more people are calling me that name and, well, hearing that name again made me realize that it's not that bad afterall...
the ferdylicious is from some conversations that I had with my roommates... A classmate also kept on calling me now and then nilicious but the name's not that likable that's why I chose this name...
there's a song I think that goes 'fergielicious nanananana' T_T
I love food, hence the food >>>>

Yun lang ata... I have to go to church pa eh... haha.. till next time...
This is leon(or ferdy or nil, whatever)... Out!

Numbers... Uli

2007-02-07T09:36:00.000+08:00

Makaraan ang ilang araw na hiatus sa blogging, narito na naman ako upang magbigay-liwanag sa mga fans kong nais malaman ang mga pangyayari sa aking buhay... haha, ang feeler ko talaga...
kung mapapansin nyo, kakaiba ang aking istayl ng pagsusulat ng entri sa blog ko ngayon, ito ay sapagkat bilang isang mag-aaral ng Com (Fil) at Humanidades, karapatdapat lamang na aking linangin ang wikang tinuturo sa amin na dapat pagyamanin (at ang pagpapayaman ng wikang Ingles ay isang hakbang lamang upang mapalaganap ang imperialismo ng Amerika, di ako makakapayag! NO WAY no! Mulat ang Masa! -OJ)

Eniwey ano na nga ba ang nangyari sa aking buhay? Pebrero na at nalalapit na tayo sa mga buwan ng mga puso kung kaya nararapat lamang na basahin niyo ang mga pangyayari sa aking buhay na puno ng numero (?)..... T_T basta...

86 pts. - Ito ang nakuha kong iskor sa kakatapos lamang na eksam namin sa Biyolohikang Panglaboratoryo. Medyo malungkot ako sapagkat bumaba ito mula sa 86.5 kong iskor sa nakaraang eksam namin. Tsk tsk tsk, talagang so sad talaga so much... ehem...

10 pts - Ito ang lamang ng UP Medchoir sa korong nasa pangalawang puwesto sa nakaraang Medrhythmia sa APMC Competition noong sabado. Medyo no challenge nga sapagkat tatlong koro lamang kaming nandoon na nais makuha ang unang gantimpala. Sa iskor na 94.something, tinalo namin ang UST Glee Club (ata tawag dun) na sekand pleyser sa iskor na 84.77 at La Salle-HSC choir na nakakuha ng 80.samting. Medyo kinabahan kami sapagkat ang karangalan namin ang nakataya sa patimpalak na iyon. Nagkaroon din ng dance contest, kasali ang UE, FEU, UST at La Salle, di sumali ang Medrhythmics ng UP, ewan kung bakit. Medyo boring ang nangyaring thing kasi kaunti lamang ang mga iskul na sumali. Naibsan lang ang kaunting kaboringan nang kunin ng isang FEU dancer ang kanilang props na naiwan sa stage at sa proseso ay naumpog siya........................................................................... sa floor.... T_T

500- ito ang kailangan kong pera para sa field trip namin sa feb 24 papuntang avelon (tama ba ang ispeling?) sa Montalban para sa Biyolohikang Panglaboratoryo 22...

3 - ito ang bilang ng mga eksam na kukunin pa namin sa mga susunod na araw na medyo syur na ang iskedyul...

6 - ito ang mga sistema ng katawang dapat kong pag-aralan para sa eksam namin sa Biyolohika na Nilelektyur...

17 - ito ang magiging eyj ko sa loob ng siyam na araw. Sa mga umaasa ng libre mula sa akin, mag-aral na lang kayo ng Math 100 sapagkat di talaga ako nagseselebreyt ng aking kaarawan at di ako magbabago sa taong ito. Sa mga nais magbigay ng regalo, tatanggapin ko ang mga iyan ng bukal sa aking kalooban, huwag kayo mahiya, alam niyo na kung saan ako makokontak at matatagpuan. Sa akin naman, ewan ko lang, tatanda naman ako ng isang taon... Yey...

10:11 AM - ito ang oras habang tinatayp ko ang linyang ito...

4:30 PM- ito ang oras na plano kong maligo sa araw na ito... Tinamad akong pumasok sa NSTP namin sa OR, wala naman kasi kaming ginagawa doon. Di rin pumasok sina pat at imarie... yehey...

2 - bilang ng mata ko, butas ko sa ilong at taenga, kamay ko, siko ko, braso ko, hita, pata, tuhod, paa, at b**** ko... pasensya na, wala na akong maisip na isulat dito eh... tinotopak ata ako...

Hanggang dito na lang at medyo wala na ako sa sarili, nainom ko ata yung H&S kong shampoo kanina kaya bibili muna ako sa sari-sari store (meron kaya nito sa NBS? di ba parang sari-sari store din yun)... T_T

Ito si Leon... Labas!

Free Hug

2007-01-17T22:29:00.000+08:00

Lately lang, I feel very very stressed. The first months of college is slowly taking its toll on me na. I always feel tired, hungry and sleepy. Keeping all of these in a positive perspective is also becoming a chore. Smiling, laughing and chatting are slowly becoming tiresome things to do that sometimes I wish I could just spend the rest of my life sleeping.

I need a hug.

Seeing this news about Koreans giving free hugs to people kinda made me want to have the same people here. I really need a hug. It's been a long time since I had a nice big hug from someone. I realize that during the Christmas break, I received gifts and money but I didn't receive a nice big hug from someone. I miss the days that I had my very close friends beside me that I can freely hug anytime time I want to express my exhaustions, my fatigue, my care for them and my thankfulness to have people like them in my life. I desperately need a hug.

I really need a hug.

Being loveless my whole life, that feeling of want to have someone special beside me is yet again coming back to life in this time of my life when I really need someone's hand to hold and body to wrap my arms around with. I want someone who would always be there to make me smile in times when I feel I can't. I want someone's legs to lie my head on, someone who could look after me in the short moments of vulnerability, someone to stroke my hair and make me feel special depsite my imperfections, someone who could look straight at my restful face and think of nothing more but times that I can make her feel special. I want someone to hug me at the end of the day and someone I could hug back. I want to see a smile directed only to me... I NEED A HUG, A REALLY SPECIAL ONE...

Sissy as all of this may sound, I still am very human and I feel really feel vulnerable at times when I'm spent, from head to toe, and I think it must feel good to have someone to rely on when these times come and someone who could give me all the energy I need with just a smile... I need a hug, do I sound pathetic?

This is Leon... Out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PA!

2007-01-16T08:23:00.001+08:00

I'll try making this quick because I still have to take a bath and prepare for school for our BioLab class...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTER SUNDERY SEMBRANO!!!!!

Ok, you might wonder who that person with the weird name and the same surname as me is. That's my very beloved father who is celebrating his 43rd birthday today! Yehey!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!

I don't usually greet people's birthdays in my blog but I decided that as one of my new year's resolutions, I'll try not to forget people's birthdays because I usually do. Anyway, like I said today is my very strict and bald father's birthday and I have already greeted him with a very very long SMS hoping that it would touch his heart and maybe, just maybe, increase my allowance... hehe... As usual I couldn' decipher what he felt because of my message since he only replied a very blunt "Salamat Nil" so...Yeah...

Most of the people I know, especially my friends and classmates haven't really seen my father since it's my mother who's always with me. I'll try describing him for those people who haven't really seen him. My father's this very handsome, 5'5", pretty broad and bald person who always has a mustache and has the very exact set of eyebrows that I have. People say that I look just like my father when he was a teen only that I am, err, let's just say a better copy of him. Haha...

My father's a big advocate of discipline that's why I'm such a well-mannered person (haha...). I always remember those times when I would kneel on the ground with salt on it and being hit by his belt three times on my butt for every sin that I commit. I really don't know why we should be hit three times, probably it's an agreement between him and my mother. It is these events and many more and also a lot more to come that greatly shape me as a person. It's funny thing since I have the very exact belt that had hit me on the ass hanging in my closet and I have been proudly using for a long time now...

No matter what happens, just like what I said in my message Pa, I would never trade you for all the fathers in the world...

Yun lang muna...

Ciao! This is Leon... Out!

Some Musings... Dapat Jan. 8 pa to, but, oh well...

2007-01-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

Stuuuuuuupid Pacquiao News!

I was thinking of what to write in this blog of mine when TV Patrol announced their headlines saying something like, "Pacquiao, sinugod sa hospital dahil sa sakit ng tiyan!" and "Pacquiao, sasali sa sabong!" and I instantly blurted a loud 'What the f***'. Who could blame me? I mean, come on! Can't you people from the media find better news? Aren't there any more important events other than an ugly-faced boxer's aching stomach and his expensive cock (the fighting chicken)? I had and still have a stomach-ache and excruciating body pains and I don't see any station covering it, and I look way better than that Pacquiao guy! Geez! I distinctly remember that segment being given around 2 min. of airtime just so that people will know that the "Pambansang Kamao" had some gasgas in his stomach... puhleazz.... I mean, I can understand why they would cover his achievements but this is just too much, kulang na lang i-feature nila ang pangungulangot ni Pacquiao... what's happening to Philippine television?

My Debut to Showbiz (haha! feel...)

I was supposed to make this entry last weekend but due to physical limitations caused by stress, fatigue and other elements, I wasn't able to do so. But now I can! Haha, obvious ba? Anyway, last friday (Jan. 5, 2007) I was able to sing in the MedChoir's first concert for the year entitled Four Seasons.
Like I said a lot of times before, advertising this concert, it had four parts, a post xmas part, a pre-valentine part, a tour/china competition part and the tanders (tama ba spelling? basta sila yung mga alumni ng medchoir na sobrang galing) part. I was able to sing for the first two parts of the concert and also sang for the finale all in all I think I sang ten songs. Though I have to say I wasn't that good in singing what I have to sing, it was a good thing I was in a great choir, I just have to lower my voice if I think I'll commit a mistake... hihi... It was pretty sad that I had no relatives to see me perform nor very close friends to applaude for me... sniff sniff, maybe next time... Haha, yeah I am hoping that there would be a next time, you will see me again on the stage, performing with a choir that's already close to my heart and singing with one voice... Yeah!

City Hoping all over the Philippines

Within the short span of fifteen days of break from school for the holidays, I was able to stop by, dock by and drive by, I think, seven cities from all over the Philippines. For starters, like I said in my past entry, I ran out of flights when I went home to Surigao this is why I travelled home in a ship for two days, to gruelling days. Anyway, the said ship docked by Bacolod on the first day which was my first time in the city (that's one). Then I got home in Surigao City, yes it is a city (so that's two). On my way back to Manila I, yet again, ran out of flights for Manila from Surigao or from Butuan so my mom decided that I take a flight from Cebu, so I did. I travelled one night to Cebu City and stayed there for almost ten hours since I arrived there at around 5:30 AM and my flight for Manila would leave on 5:15 PM that day (that's three). On my way to Mactan Int'l Airport I passed by Mandaue City and arrived in Lapu-lapu City in Mactan Island then I flew to Manila (that's four and five). Then I arrived at the airport here in Manila which is in Pasay then travelled back to Manila City (six and seven). Bow. Haha, instant tour ba to? Ang saya naman...

***

Hanggang dito muna friends ang isusulat ko, sa susunod uling kabanata ng buhay ko.
Ciao!
This si Leon... Out!

Late Xmas Break Update..

2006-12-30T16:03:00.000+08:00

Hey hey hey! I'm back! I'm back! I'm back! Kuman jari ako sa akong home sweet home, The City of Island Adventures, Surigao City! Yehey!!! Kay jari man ako sa amo kuman, maghimo ako nan entry na Surigaonon para dili kamo makasabot... Bwahahahaa!!! Kalain ra ba nan ako kahimtang, dili ko sanay na dili ako PC ako taggamit. Waya man tuho internet namo sa amo bayay amo ari ako kuman sa isa ka Net Cafe naggamit...

AY UY! Nakakapagod. No one will understand me anyway so I'll just revert back to my usual way of writing my entries. Besides, what would be the point of my blog being a public site if only a couple can understand what it contains. Di ba!? Haha....

Ok, that was a very weird intro. Hmm... Like I said I'm here in this tiny city of mine and I'v been here for exactly ten days today. I traveled for two days on a ship and arrived last Dec. 20. It was sad. Yeah... *sigh...
***
Anyway, I think I've already gained a couple of pounds after ten days. It seems that having eating and sleeping as two of my main activities here are very efficient ways to gain weight in a short span of time.
***
I attended the christmas party of my uncle's company. They had this raffle where the grand prize was a brand new PC with all the works. Also they had separate raffles for the employess and the guests. I was able to get a brand new flash drive from the raffle. I was so happy since I really wanted a flash drive. On top of that, the flash drive had an 8 GB capacity, which is pretty unheard of. However when I tried using what I won, the files that you save in it disappear when you open it in another PC. I already talked with my uncle and I really hope he would give me another one which really works.
***
I'm getting tired updating this blog...
***
I'll arrive in Manila on Jan. 3, around 7 PM which means I'll miss the first day of classes for the year 2007. ALso, since I won't be able to practice very much, I think I won't be able to sing in our concert on Jan. 5. SO sad...

Fin

Matapos ang Ilang Araw...

2006-12-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

Dingdong Merrily on High, in heav'n the bells are ringin
Dingdong Verily the sky, is riv'n with angels singing
Gloooooooooooooooria, Hosana In Excelsis!

Currently my life's so full of songs and music caused by the Christmas cheer. After many days of practicing I have so far, somehow, managed to know some Christmas songs already that we song in the MedChoir. Tomorrow, I'll go caroling with my co-singers (naks!)... (Sandali lang masyado atang recent ito... Rewind!)

After many many many days, laziness has finally left me and now I am using energy and contracting muscles and making my neurons work just so that I could write this entry. You probably wonder why I have been in hibernation from blogging for the past weeks, for this I am truly sorry to my avid readers (namely me and uhh, me, me alam ko VIPs kayo lahat!) I was either too tired or too lazy to even try to log-in to my blog account. But anyway, what has happened to my life?

To start with we had TRP last Dec. 5 (tama ba?) which is a long time ago. I danced, with some other classmates this freakishly embarassing amateur folk dance maglalatik with a "modern" twist. Not only did we have to pretend to be good at dancing hiphop, but we had to wear coconut shells on our bodies which only made us look like guys who want to wear bras on our chests and on some other parts of the body, but nonetheless the event was somehow successful and we were able to dance pretty good. The whole show was enjoyable especially the choir competition. Congratulations 2009 for winning!Ü

After that we moved on with our usual difficult iMed college lives. Going into classes, sitting on chairs either learning, trying to learn, pretending to learn, staring blankly into space, thinking of violent ways to torture the prof, chatting away with the seatmate or (like me) dozing off into the restful place called dreamland.

Last wednesday we had our Christmas party and ate lots and lots of food. Surprisingly I received some gifts from people who are rich enough to spend gifts for people like me. I, on the other hand, was and still am too broke to even buy my parents some gifts for christmas. I even made tipid Ivan's gift for pete's sake! (he was my kris kringle recepient) Anyways, I thank all of the people who gave me gifts, sorry talaga wala akong mabigay!!!
Thank you Anne for the pillow and books, I'll try reading faster...
Thank you Kitel for the pencil book, it will really help me become more spiritual...
Thank you Serine for the Kenny Rogers GC, mabubusog ako dun...
Thank you Cedes for the box of Waffle Time, naubos ko na lahat yun, busog ako masyado...
Thank you Miggy for the Necklace, I really like it very much!
Thank you Trebor for the food, yun ang susunod kong kakainin!
Thank you Maui for the bracelet, kahit na mukha mo na kaming pag-aari dahil dun, it's cute...
Thank you Joanne for the key chain, ang ganda talaga nun!
And to all who made me feel human sa year na dumaan, THANK YOU!!!Ü

The following day we had our lantern parade were we chanted "Med tarat-tarat (2X) Tararat! (2X) Boom-Med-Boom!" as a college cheer. Sadly we didn't win even a single award.

Currently I'm busy with MedChoir. We have been singing from house to house to raise some money for the concert and also for the benefit of the Neo-Natal ICU of PGH. We also sang in the PGH Wards just to make all those sick people happy... Now, we're preparing for our concert on Jan. 5 next year (for tickets and more info contact me...Ü) and I'm really hoping I'd be selected to sing in it. It would be my debut in the world of showbiz! (haha, joke!) But seriously, I really want to sing. Just for the sake of singing. It's slowly becoming my passion, if only I could sing like the Tenor Gods, then I'd be satisfied. Well, I'm still young.... Still a long way to go...

Right now, Pat's going around in our room preparing to go home. I'm going home this Monday. Sadly no (and also unexpectedly) no flights were available left so I'm going home by ship on Monday. Alone on a ship for two days, so sad indeed.... *sigh...

Well, that's it for now... Ciao!

This is Nil... Out!

There might be no power 12 hours from now...

2006-11-30T16:34:00.000+08:00

The news said that another supertyphoon (Reming, I think) is coming this way. They say it's probably going to be stronger than Milenyo and Signal No. 4 is currently up in some parts of Luzon. This is why I'm typing another blog entry. I haven't made an entry since watching Happy Feet (it still makes me happy just thinking about it) and I'm expecting the power's going to be out tomorrow so I'm blogging while I still can.
****
Today school's cancelled even though I really can't feel any storm brewing. But who am I to question their decision? Hohum...
****
I have a lot of things going on in my mind and I can't really discuss all of them intricately in this entry so I'll just put random details to each of these things:

I have been dancing almost everyday for the past week in preparation for our TRP presentation that was supposed to be done this Friday but since there's a typhoon, TRP's postponed till further notice. It's been quite a while since I last danced properly that's why my body's been aching (my chest, my legs, my arms). Though I'm not an expert in dancing I can say I can dance fairly well, I mean I have rhythm, I can move my body in tune with the music. Unlike some... (Evil thoughts about people brewing in my mind, I am so evil... I'm sowwee...)
I have been a not so active member of the choir recently. Maybe it's because of the TRP practices. I'm also kinda disappointed with my schedule in school because it's preventing me from participating in our major gigs. I can't sing in our 2-day Manila Hotel gig since I would be going home earlier. Also, I won't be able to sing for our Four seasons concert because of a scheduled Math100 exam on that night.. *sigh
Currently my life's pretty peaceful. It's a funny thing when I thought I'd be happier if I had someone to romantically share my life with, but now, with no strings attached, no commintments just plain living alone, it fits me just fine. So to all of you people out there thinking of issues about people, just keep me out of it, I'm fine... Really, I am...
School's going smoothly. If I keep this up I might be able to become a US student... haha, I wish... I just really wish I can avail some scholarship for my medproper years, after all I am financially needy...
Boring classes bring out the artist in me... Currently my books, notebooks and quiz papers are full of sketches of anything and surprisingly my drawings are pretty good... for someone like me...
I think I need to control my eating habits. I currently eat because my tongue craves it and not my body, which is pretty bad. I just wish there was a way to continue eating without getting fat or unfit...

Hohum, so random, so me... Yun lang muna...

This is Leon... Out! (Reming, PASOK!!!)

Watched a Movie... At Last!!!

2006-11-26T02:10:00.000+08:00

Memphis: What are you doing son?
Mumble: I'm happy dad. My feet are happy too.
(It went something like that)

I guess my life wasn't that boring after all. A while ago we went to Barangays 156&157 of Pasay City to check out the place that we were supposed to do our community service. Poor and dirty is a very big understatement to describe the place that we went to. The people there had these very small houses made from scraps of wood side-by-side each other. The children there walked the streets barefooted or even barenaked and they have posos as their water sources just a few feet from a very filthy body of black water (I think water pumps are supposed to have a five-meter radius of uncontaminated area). Not to mention I saw this house(for them) wherein it was about 1X1m and there were about 5/6 kids sleeping inside, lying on whatever position that would allow them to fit in that tiny home of theirs. I'm just glad that we would be able to help these people improve their lives. Though I'm not that rich, it's nice to know that I can still help. Afterwhich we went to MOA to enjoy ourselves...

After many months of a moviehouse-free life, I was able to watch Happy Feet with some of my iMed classmates. It was a fun movie. It really just... MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!Ü The animation and feel of the movie was simply impecable. The musical pieces that they played during the duration of the movie is very very very good and enjoyable. For me, it's one of the best animated movies that I have ever watched! Besides, who could resist adorable penguins doing their funny walk and suddenly start singing and dancing? The characters are also very very cute. That penguin above is Mumble, he's the main character of the story. He doesn't have a Heart Song that's why he felt like an outcast in the movie, and he was only able to play his heart song through his dancing. I can sing, I wish I had a Heart Song that I can sing to somebody... Hohum... Main Point, WATCH HAPPY FEET!!!! IT WOULD REALLY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD!!!! It makes you want to have a penguin for a pet... Hehe...

Can anybody find me... SOMEBODY TO LOVE!!!!!?

This is Leon... Out!

In Reality there's...

2006-11-18T23:33:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog about this days ago but unfortunately I didn't have the time nor the inspiration to write about it. Now, I have the time to write about it but the inspiration part, I think I have to take it from within me. It's pretty overrated and overly discussed but hey, what do I care? I'm overly handsome and very very deep (uhh, hmm, for these words blame the noise of Malate, it's making me a bit disoriented).

I am here to talk about love. Yes, Love, Pag-ibig, Gugma, Amor, etc. Whatever you call it. I have talked about this topic a couple of times already in my past entries. That was the time when I thought I felt in love with someone, but I don't really know I never acted upon it. My friends who read those entries thought I was possessed by some depressed and obsessed demon. But now, I think I am not in love, I just want to talk about it.

Specifically I want to talk about that "love" that you see in whatever piece of literature that your hands get a hold on. More specifically, I refer to those pieces that talk about the love stories that usually end up with a couple kissing, hugging or having sex (or making love, whatever you call it). And I wonder, in these cases does ART really imitate REALITY or is it the other way around?

The reason for me asking this question is that I just watched the movie with the very infamous line, "You Had me at Hello" for the first time ever. Yes, you read right, it was the first time that I watched "Jerry Mcguire"(?). And I sometimes wonder how impossible it is for these stories to actually happen in real life. Did the things that happened in these love stories actually happen in the lives of the authors? Or are they just products of the imaginations of these writers?

Have you ever realized how seemingly perfect these love stories occur? Though they happen in wide arrays, they can be sad or happy, but the love that occurs just seems too perfect and unrealistic. It's always the answer to the problems. It always blinds the characters from doing the logically right thing to do. It usually causes the greatest pain. It always causes the greatest happiness. It's usually the cause of pathetic acts. It always changes the character/s. It's always too selfless. It's always too perfect. Akala ko ba nothing is perfect?

It is then from these love stories that it seems almost everyone is wishing for that perfect love story to happen to them. People always hope for that ultimate kilig factor to occur to them when Mr./Ms. Right comes knocking on their hearts. People always hope to feel that ecstatic feeling when they do feel "love". They want to feel that certain heat that comes with it. All of these things that people hope for are patterned from these love stories that were produced by mere pigments of imagination. And if they do not occur to them, they'll just be disappointed and will try to make their love stories similar to what they hope for. And thus, people become slaves of these works of art, we then become imitators of art.

And yet, with all of this criticisms I have against these love stories, it is still inevitable that we (yes including I) are very fond of these love stories. We are all still suckers to these stories that usually carry these quotable quotes about love. And still hope for that perfect love story to come true. Even though we say that nothing is perfect. So, ano ba talaga?

I may have written something weird, unorganized and difficult to understand but what I simply want to ask is, Why are we all suckers when it comes to stories about love?

This is Leon... Out!

Ang Unang Linggo ng Pangalawang Semestre

2006-11-18T00:34:00.000+08:00

So natapos na nga ang aking break at balik na tayo sa reality ng buhay. Di pa ako masyadong sanay ngayon na ifocus ang sarili ko sa klase. Tapos nahihirapan pa nga akong gumising ng maaga para lang maligo at pumunta ng school. And lastly, sinasanay ko uli ang aking sarili na magsulat. Hmm... Namimiss ko na ang late na pagtulog at late na paggising, balik na naman sa school life: late matulog, early magising... (sniff sniff)

Nameet na namin lahat ng magiging teacher namin for the second sem. Ok naman sila lahat... Buti naman at di kami naging malas sa mga teachers this sem. Wala namang sobrang pangit magturo, pero as usual nandyan pa rin ang mga di masyadong gustong teachers...

Hmm, nabobore na ako sa entry na to... Next time na lang... Sana ma-inspire na ako para magsulat... At sana, palarin ako sa sem na to... Ciao!

Ito si Leon... LABAS! (pangit...)

Luneta Adventure (An Enjoyable and Scary one)

2006-11-11T12:30:00.000+08:00

My day started pretty early today. I woke up at 7:20 AM coz Mr. Pocholo Morales said that there would be an Ultimate Frisbee thingy in Quirino Grandstand at 8AM and told us that they needed 4 guys and 3 girls. I thought this was something different so I decided to go. I really don't know what to ride to go to Quirino Grandstand so I decided to walk the whole trip. This is the distance that I walked:
Yeah it may look small in that map but it was one hell of a walk. I started walking 7:50 AM and arrived there at around 8:20 AM. When I got there I didn't see any frisbee flying around nor did I see any familiar face. It was pretty weird and I started feeling doubtful if the thing would pull through. I decided to walk around the park to pass the time. I walked from the Quirino grounds to Luneta Park and enjoyed all the sceneries. It was pretty cool since it was still pretty early. It was my first time there so the experience was pretty nice, pretty cultural... I felt good visiting the place where our National Hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, was shot and where he is now buried. I also learned something new, something that I'm supposed to know but I didn't. Why didn't anyone told me that Rizal was shot by fellow Pinoys? Eight Filipinos to be specific. Why didn't I know that? So shameful. Those military people standing there (what do you call them?), is that what they do for the whole day? Cool... Then Mr. Pocholo texted me and said that the thing was cancelled. Surprise surprise! Well, since I was already there I decided to just enjoy the experience.
There were people around, school kids, Korean tourists, street children, rugby boys walking and sitting within the park. The usual site in Manila. I was really enjoying myself but good things don't really continue all day. While I was walking in this side of the park some gay guy shouted, "Uy kuya, saan ka pupunta?" and I was so freaked out and I just walked away and didn't mind it. What a thing to destroy my day. Then feeling safe as I was I decided to go the part of the park facing Taft Ave. where they have this huge replica of the Philippine Archipelago and looked at the places. They have arrows pointing to Surigao and Siargao and the Philippine Deep, Yey!!!

Then, while I was looking at the replica, this Mama approached me and asked for the time and I told him. Then he stood beside me looking at the Philippine Model. Then he suddenly asked, "Pare, saan punta mo? Gumigimik ka ba?" this not only freaked me out but scared me out of my wits. So I just said, "Uuwi na po ako" and walked quickly away from him and he added something like he would pay me or something. Dear God, I never thought bakla yung taong yun, ang laki niyang tao akala ko nga hoholdapin niya ako eh and he could easily break my neck. Good thing I was close to Taft Ave and there were already jeepneys waiting so I quickly got in one and thanked God I made it to Pedro Gil St. in one peace. This is really getting out of hand. Two scary things happening to me in one day. Ganun na ba ako kamukhang callboy, HA!? People, I do think I do look good pero di pa po ako ganun gadesperate!!! My friends, mukha ba talaga akong callboy!!?? Probably it had something to do with what I was wearing (Pants, white shirt and carrying a bag)... So, a word of caution to all of you guys, don't wear this attire when you're alone and don't stand at one place only... Buti na lang walang masamang nangyari sa akin, kung hindi maraming iiyak (di ba? hehe)...

Anyway after that scary experience I decided I will not go to open places alone ever again just to look around. I ate breakfast for the first time at McDo in Pedro Gil St. after my adventure in Luneta. I was really pissed and paranoid and thought that my day was completely destroyed. Then, suddenly these two pretty ladies walked up to my table and asked if they could join me since there were no tables available anymore. So I said yes. I realized the table next to ours was bigger and was occupied by only one person too and I thought why did they choose my table? I brewed up some ego-boosting thought and held that thought until I finished eating. I went away and they said thanks to me in this sweet manner. After that i decided that my day was not that horrible after all.

What thought did I brew? Kala ko lapitin lang ako ng bakla, buti naman linalapitan pa rin ako ng babae... Haha, think what you want, basta di ako ganun ka sad ngayong araw...

Hohum, this is Leon, OUT!

I'm Desperate

2006-11-10T01:28:00.000+08:00

I was and still am so bored. That's why I checked my friendster account... Wee! And I realized it has not developed(?) for the past days. No additional friends, no new testimonials, not even profile views... Am I that insignificant!?!?

So please, if you do still care for me... Please add me in your friendster accounts? I need one more friend para umabot ng 250 ang friends ko, that's halfng 500 so it is very significant. Or if you're already my friend, NAPAKAWALANG-PUSO MO NAMAN! KAUNTING TESTIMONIAL LANG DI MO MAIBIGAY SA NAGHIHINGALONG FRIENDSTER KO! MAGBIGAY KA NAMAN KAHIT ITURING MONG DONASYON SA AKIN!!! pweees? I'm very lonely, pwees give me something? *sniff sniff... Di pa ako kumakain ng ilang araw, maawa naman kayo... hihi...

Eto po friendster ko, bisita kayo ha!!!

click me

<<< eto yung pic ko dun... haha, I just realized na pala na first pic ko to na ipopost sa blog ko... haha, vanity? siguro... this pic was taken by me nung isang overnight kina teetin... haha...

Halata bang desperate? Di masyado? haha, sige lang bored naman ako eh...

This is Leon, out!

New developments, .025 is bothering me...

2006-11-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

I know I have been complaining about how horribly sadistic our teachers are, I'm not going to take that back, but I have to say, they are pretty damn kind to in giving grades.. As of 11 AM a while ago, I was able to complete all of my class cards and I'm pretty happy with my grades... After one semester of intarmed here are the grades that I got from my subjects: (PE isn't counted in the GWA but what the heck)

Math17 (5 units) - 2.00
Nat. Sci. 2 (3 units) - 1.50
Philo 1 (3 units) - 1.25
Kom 1 (3 units) - 1.25
Kom 2 (3 units) - 1.50
History 5 (3 units) - 1.00
PE 1 (not counted) - 1.50

That freaking Math17 distorted the whole 1.XX series... Haha, anyway after one semester of College Life in UP as an intarmed student, I think my average is 1.475 (that is if I computed it correctly by multiplying the grades with the number of units, adding them all and dividing by the total number of units) which qualifies me for College Scholar status... Yey!!! I'm a little bit sad with fact that a little more kindness from one of my teachers and stepping one of my grades up by one step would've made me a Univ. Scho... hohum.. Anyway, I'm a CS, that's all that matters... I think I have never really stepped up my game yet so I think I can do better next sem...

SO the point of all this: WOOHOOO!!!! CS AKO!!! HAHAHA! ANG SAYA-SAYA-SAYA KO!!! WEEE!!! HIHIHI...
la lang, this is an entry about me bragging, so no biggy... hohum.. yun lang....

this is Leon Out!

Ang Kuya ko, Bow...

2006-11-02T22:37:00.000+08:00

It has been more than ten days since my last entry and I am now enjoying the life of no worries, bumming around and doing nothing productive. My life for the past days have revolved on waking up, watching TV, surfing the net, going back to sleep, taking little walks, taking a bath and brushing my teeth in any order with the last two sometimes forgotten. I know, it's gross but bumming around just feels so good that it seems I really don't have to worry on keeping myself clean, while all the dirt and dust of Manila sticks to my skin. Yes, I am spending my sem break in Manila, much to my dismay. I have been living a carefree and solitary life, until my brother came. (Scary music plays in the background)

My brother has been in Luzon since Oct. 21 and has been living with me since Oct. 29. He went to Baguio for that week to join this debate competition. Peculiar thing was he wasn't representing his school but rather went their as a representative of UP-Manila. My brother goes to St. Paul-Surigao, an insignificant institution if compared to UP (my opinion, don't start raising your eyebrows). He said that his adjudicating skills were formidable that the UPM Debate Society/Circle/Whatever decided to make him someone to represent my school. I doubt that. I think the fact that his girlfriend goes to UPM and is someone big in the Debate Team has something to do with this. But I'm not here to dwell on this suspicion of mine.

I just wonder why my parents allowed him to come here in Manila, without someone they know with him and let him spend some isolated time with his not-so-gorgeous girlfriend, and this is me not being cruel or bad, this is me being perfectly honest. No telling my kuya, I have seen how siblings at my age and above fight and it is not a pretty site (e.g. seeing my uncles rage a cold war at each other up to now). They didn't weigh the possibility that maybe this was an evil conspiracy of his GF to pikotize (if you know the right English word, please tell me) my brother and he would have to marry early. And since he hasn't finished school, his future would be jeopardized and he will spend a life of poverty, misery and depression. And due to all of these depressions he would hate himself and decide to take his own life! AAAHHH!!! And that would be the very sad ending of my brother's life...

I know I'm being over-reactive but I already saw how these romantic zhu zhu stuff can ruin one's life (this happend to my cousin). Also, come on, making my brother stay here?! With me!? I was really pissed off when my mother said that manoy (the way we say kuya in our dialect) would stay with me till Sunday. And my life of serene loneliness went down the drain. Now I have to share all of my food, money, stuff in the dorm and even toiletries with him!!! I also have to monitor where he goes since he doesn't know the places here, the time he comes back since only I have the key and the guard won't allow anyone to enter unless someone fetches them and he gets to disrupt my quality TV time!!! Argh!!! I also have to follow on his trash since I really can't stand dirty things and he just leaves his things around (I also do this but he does it a lot worse!). He didn't even bring me some decent pasalubong from Baguio!!! GRRR!!!

I know, I know... His my brother and all, we share the same blood and flesh and brothers have to look out for each other. Maybe this living away from home thing has made me get used to living without those relatives zooming in and out of my life. And now, my brother plans to take the NMAT when he's about to graduate and try to enter UPCM where if he does get in, I would be spending the remaining five years of my college life with him as a classmate in MedSchool. Now he just can't simply do that! It would be... Weird!!! Also, if he does get in, I would have to live with him, and that's just not agreeable! It would just cause terror in my life!!! AAAAHHH!!!

My brother and I are very different, even if we are brothers. And these are enough reasons why he should not go to my school!!!
I always remember when I was way younger, I was always being teased as bakla or bayot since I lived my life in a not so musculine way. Probably when my brother was born, he sucked all the testosterone out of my dad and I had to settle with what was left. Now, we live perfectly different lives with different likes and ideals. Physically, you can't tell that we're brothers. People say that he looks better than I am and I won't argue with that, it just happened that he turned out to be a better mix of my parents' good physical qualities. Now I'm not saying I'm ugly. I do (somehow) look good, may itsura naman ako, mas pogi lang talaga si manoy. He's also pretty thin but muscular and I'm pretty flabby and don't have a sporty physique. Physically, my brother beats me hands down.
When we went to the same school in elementary, I can modestly say that I easily overshadowed him in school. While he lived a normal happy elementary life, I was always seen on stage, receiving medals and awards. While he stayed in his classes, I was frequently pulled out of them to review for contests and compete in them. I have reached places like Cebu, Manila, Tagaytay, etc. to join contests while I was in elem while kuya had his chance of going to places to compete only in college. I was a consistent first honors student while the highest honors that he received was (I think) 3rd and that was when was in grade 1. I joined a lot of orgs (choir, dance group, student gov't, BSP, Science Club, schoolpaper etc.) and was even the EIC of our schoolpaper and joined writing contests while he stayed in school, and I think the only membership in an org that he had was as the sgt. at arms of the SG. While I graduated as the valedictorian of the batch with numerous medals around my neck, in his time my manoy graduated as a simple graduate with only two ribbons pinned on his chest: "graduate" and "with distinction". While I became a scholar and a "with high honors" graduate of Philippine Science High School-SMC in Davao, he graduated as a simple graduate at St. Paul-Surigao. Now, academically, I have to say, I beat him. Nil: 1, Micmic: 1.
Now, like I said, since my brother's physically more attractive than I am, he usually gets the girls. I remember answering the phone and hearing the voices of my crushes on the other line (this made my heart jumped) asking if they can talk with my kuya (this made my heart break, and that was when I was very young!!!). I think he had his first girlfriend when he was 14 and is now with his 6th/7th/8th girlfriend at 18. I'm currently 16 and the closest relationship I had with a girl was and is having her as a very close friend. And my brother beats me 2-1.
In terms of music he likes rock and alternative alone and he easily pukes all over the music that only I like. Meanwhile, I like a wider array of music. I also like some rock and alternative music but I usually dwell on the lighter side such as pop, R&B, ballad, classics, etc. I can sing while he can't. He can play the guitar while I can play only a little bit of it. I can say I am more musical than he is, only in terms of the music that we like. I am also in a choir while he once played in a very amateur band.
Other differences between me and my brother are stuff like:

he owns six pairs of shoes and he uses them all while I only have two which I use.
he has a full cabinet of clothes while I own just enough to fill a school locker.
he buys clothes and shoes, I let my mom by my clothes and shoes.
he plays more sports than I do.
I have read a lot more books than he has.
I beat him in word games while he beats me in most sports (while I doubt if he can beat me in a game of pingpong and darts).
he sleeps early, I now frequently sleep at 1 or 2 am.
and a whole lot more...

There are a lot of qualities that he and I possess that blur the fact that we are brothers. This is why we can't live together! And is why I am easily irritated when he lives with me. Am I being cruel? No, I think not...
My brother and I are different in a lot of ways but still, I can't deny the fact that we are brothers. Despite all the wounds and bruises that I get everytime we fight over the remote, who gets the meaty piece of chicken, who gets to take a bath first, etc. when I was at home and when I go home, he's still my brother even if the world turns the other way around. I can't change the fact that I have a jerk for a brother who shares my flesh and blood.
I know I have stated a lot of good and bad things about my brother in this entry, but I simply can't end this in an ugly way. Manoy Micmic (real name is Gabriel Angelo Arizobal Sembrano and I don't know how he became a Micmic) is still my brother who I do care for and (this is eeky but I'll say it anyway) I love and I would always stand up for him as I know he would for me (like he has always done since I was born). We're still family.
It's funny how I can now accept the fact that we frequently quarrel. It doesn't really matter cause I know though we allow fights to happen between us, we would never allow other people to harm anyone of us, it's a brother thing. It's a family thing.

Now, give me some love ya'll!

This is Leon... out!

In Places no one will find... or not

2006-10-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

For any person/s (haha, I wish) out there who still care for me, I would like to tell you that, yes, I am still alive, kicking and still very much happy with the things that have happened in my life. We just had our Math Finals a while ago, it wasn't that bad and I really expect to get a passing grade for the subject, after all it's just MATH, right guys?

It's official, after all the pagsusunog ng kilay, tormentous neglect of food, holding my eyelids up for freakishly boring and unnecessary classes (I think), the tons of paper (oh the poor trees) that were used for quizzes, reports and other "evaluative" tests, the MUGS of coffee consumed to stay up late to study and other sacrifices made just to get decent grades, one semester has finally passed! HURRAH! YEY ME! YEY US! Haha, that's one sem down, thirteen more to go! Hahaha! I'm in school forever! Weee!

A weird thing happened to me last thursday. I bought some food from ministop and was on my way back. While walking along Nakpil (it was 9:30PM by the way) this ugly, gay transvestite in pink clothes who probably came from hell walked up to me and started dancing in front of me in this freakishly disturbing manner. Disturbed disturbed and disturbed that I was, I quickly walked past the heinous site and almost ran towards the gate of our building (my safe refuge!). Know what, I really don't think myself as an attractive person, but it's really weird when some people of the same sex have the hots for you, know what I mean? On the other hand I would never mind someone who sprang from XX chromosomes and TDF-absent birth, can I get your number? Haha... I'm really pathetic aren't I? Ladidum!

***

Crying

An hour ago I watched this episode from Gundam Seed though I'm not really a fan of that anime. That episode ended with almost everyone crying probably due to exhaustion, sad memories, fear, and a bunch of other sad stuff. It made me realized that I haven't cried for a very very very long time. I can't even remember the last time I cried. Hmm... This is very peculiar since in our family I'm really known as the cry-baby, besides being the smart one. I distinctly remember crying over shallow stuff such as not being able to go with trips to my aunt's house in Mainit, not given the stuff that I want, being deprived of TV by my brother, etc. I cry over things that really piss me off and make feel depressed. There are also times when I cry without me knowing why. Here is a list of the times that I have cried:

I always cried when I was smaller when my mother goes to the office to work.
My academic life has made me cried for a lot of times already. I cried when I learned that I wasn't the number one in class in this quarter in grade 3. I cried when I got my first ever zero in a quiz. I cried when I only placed 7th in this Math contest. I cried when I wasn't able to make it to the DL in 3rd year. I cried when I got my first below 2.0 grade. I cried when I really felt frustrated over our research in HS. I cried when I had to do all the work in this group work in HS. Etc.
I have also cried when teachers scold me in class.
I cried when I lost my friend's cellphone in first year and had to tell my parents about it. (it was a 3310, looking back, that was so pathetic)
I cried when my parents express their disappointments about me.
I cried when I feel I haven't met my parent's expectations of me.
I cried when I get into a fight with my friends.
I cried when I felt like an outcast for a certain period in my life.
I also cried when I felt love for the first time and wasn't able to act upon it. I cried when I learned that we can only be friends. I cried when I think that I can never be with her. I cried because I felt so pathetic and a coward to not do something. (this is the past, now I'm ok)
I cried when my great grandmother and my grandfather died without being able to say my last goodbyes to them.
I cry over lost opportunities and lost time that I should've used wisely.
I cry when I realize that I have been living a life that is not what I want.
And the list goes on...

Though most of the time crying is thought as a sign of weakness, I have always thought of it is a sign of strength, thus I am a strong person (yey!). It was in crying that I was able to see life as it is, imperfect and unfair. Besides being a healthy act to do (coz they wash your eyes) crying is the most effective way to channel out all of your emotions. With one good cry all the day's exhaustions are washed away, all the sad things are set into place and we then get to think straight, even all happiness is heartily expressed, all anger is calmed down and all that we are is shown.

When faced with difficult problems it's always good to cry to take out all of our depressions and intimidations aside and give us clear-minds. Crying is one of the reasons why more guys than girls die of suicide, girls are just better in crying (kudos to all of you!).

This is why after a day's worth of what life has thrown at you, it's always good to cry all our hearts out. Crying is like the rain, it washes all the worries away and, though sad and gloomy it may seem, you can always expect to see that beautiful bow of bright colors after it has passed. So cry, like I have. Why? Because we should cry, while we still can.

***

This is Leon... Out!

OctoberFest NA!!!

2006-10-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

People are partying outside our dorm... YES, *sigh, Malate, such a nice place... NOT!

Well, probably you'll disagree with me if you love to drink booze, party all night, and enjoy the absence of sleep but since I'm still a minor and I still can't "enjoy" these happy things in life then I have the right to COMPLAIN!

God, grabe ang INGAY NILA! Sheesh! Maybe because it's already October and their kinda launching the whole OctoberFest thingy. I just really wonder why UPManila has to be so close to Malate and the only available and livable place that I found is here in Malate. The DJ right now is currently saying stuff like "Yeah! Let's Dance!" and "Come on People, PARTEY!". Hmm, honestly I'm having devlish thoughts right now of going out and join the parties and pretend I'm not not yet legal. Haha... After all, only a few people know me here in Manila. Hihi... JOKE! OK, magpapakabait ako... Haha...

I just realized that I had been watching the TV for about five hours since 6PM... And I complain why my eyes hurt right now, sheesh! Anyway, RJ got voted out of PDA. I was really bummed (or bumbed? whatever!) since I really like his style of singing and his compositions are really good (I only heard Miss Kita Pag Tuesday and it's really good). I really think Michelle should've been the one expelled since she doesn't really stand out that much. Yeng's performance really blew me away. Grabe and I quote Nannete Inventor (she was one of the jury), she was a "Total Performer" and I couldn't agree more. The Voice, The Attitude, The Style, The Looks, and the song that she sang (which was something new from their Dream Song Writing contest) perfectly fit together! I'm really rooting for her to win. Haha, and for the record, I tried to watch Philippine Idol and, I'm sorry PI fans, but that show bored me out of my wits. Ang pangit ng sounds and there really is something about the singers there that really bore me, something is in PDA na wala sa PI, more funds available? Watcha think? Hmm...

Two days ago (I'm saying this it's already 12:05AM, Sunday) we went to Trebor's very beautiful house to celebrate his birthday. Coincidentally it was his parent's 20th anniversaty too so there was a lot of food and I really pigged out coz I really feel deprived of proper food here in Manila. There were only a few of us who went there: Me, Pat, JF, Lara(from Pisay Dil now in UPdil), Lorraine and Sam (from Pisay Dil now in ADMU). There was a LOT of food and grabeng busong talaga naramdaman ko sobra! Haha.. Thank you Abesamis Family! :)

I just have to put this in this entry... I have to say that Sam is really a very interesting girl. Since the probability of her reading this part of my entry is very null, I'll just say it. Sam probably is one of the very few girl's that I've personally met that I'll call drop-dead gorgeous. She has these eyes that melt any unexperienced boys' (like me) hearts if they try to stare too long and she has these lips that are so... so... nice(this is a GREAT understatement, I just can't find the right word to use... hmmm). Her beauty is so, umm, probably close to ethereal. And according to JF, she is very witty and very kind. Hmm, probably this is what you'll describe her if you've known her for a very long time but for me, I'll just put here my prejudices. She has this character that easily intimidates guys (or maybe I was just the only one intimidated). The way she talks exudes a certain strength na parang kung magkakamali kang saktan siya, kakainin ka niya ng buhay. Hmm, probably if you've reached as far as this in my entry it's best that I tell you that my experience in dealing with girls is very close to zero. Haha, I am such a loser aren't I? Anyway, but I think, though I'm greatly intimidated by her character, that Sam's a great girl and I believe that she is kind and a good person. I have to take JF's word for it. (I can't believe I just blabbed about a girl in my entry!)

Going on, I think the reason why I talked about a girl in my entry is because I get really shy (yes... shy!) when meeting new people properly for the first time especially girls for the first time and there was something different about meeting her that made it memorable (or baka dahil maganda lang talaga siya and akala mo si LadyMed lang ang maganda... haha, loser ka talaga nil!)

They're currently playing that song that says "Oh I'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears..." outside.. haha.. And I still have to make my Philo paper for the finals... haha...

Yada yada yada yada...

Hmm, hanggang dito lang siguro... Ciao!

Induced by my crappy PC

2006-10-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

Nakakatuwang isiping karamihan sa mga taong kilala ako ay nakikita ang isang mayabang, overly self-confident at self-obsessed Nil. Nakakatuwang isiping naiisip ng mga taong ito na siguro malapit na sa perpekto ang buhay ko kasi nagagawa ko pang umasta nang parang hari sa bawat hakbang ko. Nakakatuwa ring isipin na pati ako, naniniwala na sa mga sinasabi nila sa akin, pero bumabalik pa rin sa iisang fact: tao lang ako. At paningin ko rin, ako lang ang nakakaisip ng kung anong sinasabi kong iniisip ng mga tao tungkol sa akin.

Habang ginagamit ko ang aking PC na gawa sa mga parteng kung saan-saan napulot at bigay lang ng tito ko, bigla na naman itong tinopak: nagwala ang cursor sa screen nang di ko man lang hinahawakan ang mouse. Nagsilabasan ang mga windows na hindi ko man alam na existing pala sa PC ko nang di ko man lang mapigilan ang mga ito. Sunod-sunod din na beep ang narinig ko. Patay, error na naman. At sa sandaling iyon, sinapak ako ng katotohanan: ang daming pangit sa buhay ko. At aking inisip, pano pa ba ako nakakagalaw nang may kayabangan at umaapaw na self-confidence? Hello? PUNO PO NG KAPANGITAN ANG BUHAY MO!

Ok, negative mang marinig ito, pero di ko maalis ang fact na, oo nga ang daming pangit sa buhay ko. Magsisimula ako sa kung anumang organic bulk of meat ang bigay sa akin ng Diyos. Nariyan ang umaalon-alon at nakalabas kong tiyan na kasinglaki ng Mt. Everest. At inisip ko, exercise lang naman kulang ko ah! Pero ala akong oras para magexercise.. Tsk tsk... Nariyan din ang ulo kong sinakop na ng rehimeng tagyiwat, blackheads at kung ano pa mang lump na iba ang kulay na tinatanggalan ng karapatan ang harap na bahagi ng ulo kong matawag na mukha. Di ko rin makakaligtaan ang mahirap imanage kong buhok na bigay marahil sa akin ng kalbo kong tatay. Nakakapanghinayang na di ko nakuha ang magandang straight hair ni mama, oh why?! Bumabati din sa akin ang aking mga ngipin na may mga espasyo sa gitna na kaya nang pasukin ng elepante. Kung bakit ba kasi di nagparetainers nang tanggalin ang mga molars, ang bobo talaga! Ang Pangit!

Sige na, mababaw na kung mababaw, so what? Anong magagawa mo?!

Tuloy naalala ko si Mama ko. Tutuloy na siya marahil sa Bahamas sa buwang ito. Dun na siya magtatrabaho, house keeper sa isang hotel. Mahirap lang kami (pero di yung tipong nanglilimos na ha, nakakakain pa naman kami kahit papano) at malaking sakripisyo ang dapat na gawin ng bawat isa para lang mabuhay araw-araw. Ayoko rin sa katotohanang ito. Kung naging mas mayaman lang kami, di na kakailanganing umalis si mama. Di na kailangang lumaki ng may nasa malayong ina ang mga maliliit kong mga kapatid. Di na rin ako magtitiis sa pesteng PC kong ito na kasing bagal ni (put name of super bobo kakilala here) magprocess. Di na rin ako mahuhuli sa pagbayad sa renta ng dorm ko, kuryente, tubig, internet at labada ko. Mabibili ko na rin lahat ng damit na makita kong kaaya-aya sa kung saang mall. Dukha!

OO na, makamundo na kung makamundo, inggit ka?

Di rin maalis sa isip ko na walang ni isang aspeto sa buhay ko na naranasan ko nang ako ang isa sa pinakamagaling. Oo nga ang dami kong kayang gawin, subalit sa lahat ng ito, panggitna lang talaga ako sa listahan. Oo nga, kaya kong kumanta (sabi pa nga ng napakaunting ilan na maganda boses ko) pero di ako GANUN kagaling kumanta. Limitado lang ang kaya kong kantahin. Ayoko sa fact na kailangang mastrain ng lalamunan ko pag sinusubukan kong abutin ang matataas na nota at di rin kakaiba ang boses ko. Oo din, marunong ako sumayaw, modern, ballroom o simpleng left and right lang ay kaya kong gawin. Pero naiinggit pa rin ako sa mga taong kayang sumabay sa musika na parang possessed na ng melody ng musika ang kanilang mga katawan. Hanggang tingin na lang ako parati. Sabi ng ilan, Genius daw ako, magaling sa school, nerd, etc. Oo nga naman, di ko maipagkakailang Superior naman ang IQ ko, pero sa kabila nito, average honor student lang ako. Walang kakaiba, walang papunta-punta ng kung saang bansa para magpakita ng galing, walang 1.0-infested report card, wala... ang boring naman. Nasabi ko na kanina na medyo may kalakihan nga ako, at pinipigilan nito akong maging aktibo sa kung anong sports ang gusto ko. Hanggang pangbeginners lang talaga ako sa mga larong nilalaro ko. Itabi mo lang sa kaunting mas magaling, out of the picture na agad ako. Bobo! Lampa!

Nakakainis isiping habang nagtatype ako, 200 na lang laman ng wallet ko para sa three days na darating, siguro ginugutom ako ng Diyos sa kakareklamo. Siguro nga'y tama ang sabi nila, ang mga taong mayayabang ang mga taong di kontento sa buhay nila. Sila ang mga taong maraming kulang sa buhay nila, at hanggang tingin na lang sa mga taong meron ng mga bagay at katangiang wala sila. Isa ako sa mga taong iyon. Nakakahiyang isipin pero, siguro ganun nga. Kasi naman, naiingit ako sa taong kayang makabili ng bagong sapatos kung sira na yung sa kanya o dahil nagustuhan lang ang isang style nito. Naiingit ako sa taong tinatawagan palagi ng magulang para kamustahin, di alintana ang nagagastang pera sa pagtawag, ako nitext sa isang araw, wala. Naiingit ako sa taong ang kinis-kinis ng mukha, natural kaya yan? Baka naman nagpaderma? Siguro stress-free ang buhay niya. Naiingit ako sa taong ang taas ng mga grado, at ang galing din magbasketball. Pano kaya niya yun nagagawa? Amazing! Nandun naman yung taong parang wala lang sa kanya ang pagkanta ng "The Prayer" (isa po to sa mga obsessions ko, ang hirap kasi kantahin) nang pinong-pino at walang mintis. Siyet ang ganda ng boses niya. Yung isang tao, ang saya naman, may GF siya, kunsabagay, pogi naman siya, matalino, mayaman, mabait. Ako naman, nahihirapang lumapit sa babae, baka makita nila lahat ng kapangitan sa pagkatao ko. Kung bakit naman kasi ang taas ng preference ko sa babae, ako rin naman ang nasasaktan at nahihirapan. I always end up na nag-iisip na wala akong kwenta at di karapat-dapat sa mga babaeng gusto ko. Bobo talaga!

OO NGA NAMAN, ang buhay ko'y puno ng KAPANGITAN, at malayo sa pagiging perpekto. Wala talaga akong kwenta no? Hay naku... Pasensya na ha. Kung kaya naman, kung kilala mo ako, understand na lang. Sinusubukan ko lang tingnan lahat ng magagandang bagay na meron ako sa buhay. Sa paningin ko nga, kung maganda lang ang mood ko, mas mahaba pa kesa dito ang masusulat ko tungkol sa kagandahan ng aking buhay. May kagandahan naman talaga ang buhay ko ah! Nasa akin ang pinaka pinaka (lahat ng magagandang bagay/katangian ilagay dito) na mga magulang at pamilya sa mundo. Nakakakain pa rin ako araw-araw. At sa kabila ng mga kapangitan ng buhay ko, nananais ko pa ring mabuhay araw-araw, malay nga naman natin... baka magising na lang ako, PERPEKTO na ang buhay ko.

It's Been A While...

2006-10-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

Suprise, surprise! Nothing new, school work has yet again held me by the throat and kept me doing things that were beyond my capabilities. Surprisingly I did not faint, vomit blood, go all psycho, cry, shout and do some stuff that will signify my great exhaustion. I just kept on going and going and going and going and going and going...

It's official, I am a school-addict and a workaholic. I take great pride and joy in making myself suffer in doing stuff that make me look my worst but make me do my best.

Well, besides this I wasn't able to update lately because my very dumb keyboard stopped functioning well and I have to by a new one... Hmmm... So what has happened for the past week?

PE Fun Run:
Last sunday we had our finals run for PE at UPdiliman. Just a simple walk/marathon of 5km which should be done within 45 minutes. Nothing special, we just have to sweat lots of icky uhh... sweat... I finished 97th out of 300+ runners, hmm, not bad considering I walked most of it... Haha!

Cramming Kom:
I crammed my 21-page report in three days! Can you believe that? Nothing special.. NExt!

Histo Exam:
Cross-word, memorized names and terms. Answered absurdly easy and difficult questions at the same time! Questions like, put the abbrev. of Dept. of Health and who was the Sec. of Health during the Jap's Period... Whew!

Bio Exam:
Studied Human Anatomy but answered Ecology-infested exam, wohoo! Goodluck to me...

Math Exam:
Just finished a while ago. Not easy, but not that hard either. I was able to answer most of the exam, I just need a lousy 7% to have a three in Math17. We need a 2 so that we would not need to take the finals, I need 107% in the 5th exam to get a 2... Haha, I wish...

My eyes are currently hanging from my sockets.. I can't believe the stress I'm going through right now. Good thing the sem's almost up, but I won't get to go home. Financial constrains... *sniff *sniff.. *sigh!

Yun lang.. This is Leon OUT!

Si Bagyong Milenyo at ang Maingay na Generator... Bow!

2006-09-29T18:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah I know the title sounds pathetic but what other topic was I supposed to write about? I can write about how pathetic some people are unlike me but that's so overrated. I can also write about my superb intellectual prowess, my extremely good looks and how effing perfect I am, but you already know that. I can also write about... (lightning strikes and hits my ass, my ass is now on fire help me!) ehehe... (omnipotend-sounding voice resonates) "Nil, gusto mo pa ba ng isa pang bagyo? Sabihin mo lang, I'm more than ready!" Uhmm... I can also write about... (ground shakes and cracks form on the wall) Alright fine! Hmph!

Well, classes yesterday and today were suspended due to typhoon Milenyo, they say it's the strongest storm that hit Manila since 1995 (or was it 1996). There wasn't really that much rain, just strong (very very very strong) winds that caused us electricity-dependent people to become instant lunatics because we were robbed of our basic needs. Good thing our building has its own generator, that's why at night we're not eaten by darkness. Anyway as I was saying there were very very strong winds that ripped and uprooted trees, lamp posts, electric posts, billboards like mere toothpicks. Signs were pushed beyond their limits and only a few were left standing but barely hanging. UP-Manila, my beloved school, was a disaster. The screen surrounding the tennis court collapsed, the trees (the very few trees) of the school were on their sides and leaves and twigs and branches were everywhere. Tsk, tsk...

UP Naming Mahal, Pamantasang Sira!

Hmm... Right now as I'm typing down what I want to say, the generator blares outside, well I really can't complain otherwise, bye bye internet. Also, yesterday we visited Joanne and Ro (tama ba spelling?) in their condo, well not really in but rather 19 floors down outside the building. We went there (JF, me and Pat) and talked to them about nonsensical stuff. One of the glass door of tower 2 was shattered into pieces, thanks to high pressure inside the building.

Hmm... Ano pa? Manon Fa Comeli ti Altro Cheli! Haha... Basta ang lakas ng hangin kahapon yun yun! Amazing thing happened was that the pseudo-roof of Gonuts in Faura was ripped from the building and flew right across the street into the compound of the OUR, talk about super mahangin!

ANG YABANG MO TALAGA MILENYO! ANG HANGIN MO!

Uhh.. I have ran out of words to blab in this blog of mine so I'm gonna stop here.
Yeah...
Blink blink...
*hmm...

This is Leon.. Out!

Yesterday was...

2006-09-27T10:20:00.000+08:00

I was pretty happy yesterday. A lot of things happened though we had no formal classes with our profs.

My day started at 6AM for PE, pumunta lang ako ng SSWC para ibigay yung pera para sa ballet thingy na panoorin namin sa Aliw Theatre on Saturday. Tapos diretso na agad ako sa Stones. There I met up with the MedChoir. Some people requested us at the last minute to sing Lupang Hinirang in this thing that the med students had. So we started vocalizing, (*ehem! My voice won't come out) initially there were about seven of us who were there. When we sang I was surprised to see more than 20 people around me, ang galing talaga manghatak ng mga kasama ko kaya our "gig" turned out okay naman.

Then I ate with CJ and Serine watching my every subo. (sarap ng Tocino!)

Mr. Domingo was as yet again late for the nth time. With people who are so atat to cut the class already, the countdown for the freecut started in no time. (Five minutes to freecut!) And it was already 10:30 so we hurredly went out of the classroom. Hurrah! But I kinda doubt if it was the right thing to do. We are going to have our last dept exams next week and cutting one session would really not help us. Oh well, what's done is done!

Then we had Sir Amante. And he blabbed about the format of writing a research paper. Tapos bigla siyang nagdiscuss ng tungkol sa Cha-cha at sa People's Initiative. Dahil alam kong mayroon naman akong alam ukol sa paksang ito, di ako nagalinlangang ipaalam sa kanya ito. Then he suddenly said that we'll not be having any Kom classes for one week till thursday next week. YEY! And it's official, we have a proper lunch break! Hahahaha!

Bio was the last subject for the day. A certain someone came into the room and said that we're going to evaluate Mam Sustento. So we started answering the sheet when suddenly the lights went off and people started screaming. Is it the end of the world? Hmm... Apparently some people from UP forgot to pay our Meralco bill again! Tsk tsk... Joke! Ito ba ang nararapat ibigay sa mga iskolar ng bayan, sa mga pag-asa ng bayan? Kadiliman!? Pwes, bright students naman kami, so there was still light. We continued answering the evaluation and I distinctly remember marking mam just an average teacher. Then we started playing with our shadows using peoples' flashlights as our sources of light. Yey! Nalipay ang mga bata!

MedChoir practice pagkatapos. I rushed to Paz Men and we started vocalizing and practiced Telenbong and I Offer My Life. Turned out that we were going to have our Ward Harana that night. So we went to Ward 5 (Dept. of Neurosciences) and Ward 1 (Dept. of Medicine) to sing the songs. On the way there it's really hard not to notice the number of people sleeping on the entrance of the hospital waiting for their chance to be treated. When we got to the Wards we sang for these people who were sick and lying down in bed. It was really nice to see these people suddenly bright up because of the entertainment that we brought. I saw children in wheel chairs in the Rehab. Room looking up to us, probably amazed at the music that was coming out of our mouths. Ward 1 was recently renovated and the room was very beautiful, pressuring us to match its beauty with our music. The people who listened, the doctors, nurses, patients and watchers of the patients, watched us and it really made me happy to see their happy faces listening to us despite being sick, being tired and being stressed. Hearing comments such as "Wow", "ang ganda naman ng boses niyo" and "sana ganito na lang palagi" was enough to make my heart jump with joy. I was very happy to sing for an audience that really needed what we can offer the most. I'm really looking forward to our next Ward Harana, maybe we'll get to sing to every patient in PGH. Why Not?

I was happy yesterday, hope I still am today... Ciao!

This is Leon... out!

I should be getting my well-deserved sleep right now...

2006-09-23T01:00:00.001+08:00

I wanna talk about success and being tired...

This day was pretty boring actually. Nothing unusual. The usual breaks and food at GAB, the usual freakishly boring sessions of Math17. And the Usual 86/100 (or was it 104?) in Bio? Hahaha.... I dunno if this is really something to be proud of, but the heck, I'll brag anyway... Bwahahaha!

We received the results for our Bio exam around nine hours ago. I was really expecting to have an average passing grade since I decided to submit my exam paper way before the time was over since I had already finished it. I distinctly remember that strong feeling of something that will suddenly wet my crotch if I don't mind it so I just gave my paper to mam around 15 min. before four and quickly rushed to the CR (tsk tsk, the things the bladder can do, I was robbed of my ability to think logically!). Well it turns out that exam scores are not directly proportional to the time you answer it! Harhar... Turned out my exam was, I think, second highest in our class... trailing behind Bio Goddess, CJ! Waaa... I'm so happy!! Yipee! And with my score I was able to hold on to the cut off for 1.25, and I badly need it if I still want to improve my Nat Sci standing. Yey Me!!!

*sigh, however after receiving this happy news, we then had our Math17 4th Dept Exams, and boy am I spent. After TRYING to answer that freakishly hard exam for two grueling hours, the smile that Bio gave me just evaporated into nothingness. Gone are the days that I long for an exception for the finals in Math. Gone are the days of happy high grades. Gone are the days of my brain at its best. Huhuhu... Boo Math17! I really think it's a conspiracy against us bright minds, the subject's trying to destroy our self-confidence and make us think like low IQ fools... grr....

Oh well. The past's the past. I wonder what I'll eat for breakfast?

***

Do you have dream girls? You know, that ideal girl whom you always think of that will make you perfectly happy? That girl with long black hair, simplicity and kindness as her motto, intelligence springing from her lips, and eyes that simply melt your heart with her gaze? Well, what if you start falling for someone who's completely the opposite (minus the lips and eyes)? Someone who's pretty loud, pretty flashy, pretty obnoxious, pretty maarte. You know what you want, yet someone inside your head's telling you otherwise.

Nothing. Just asking.

This is Leon... Out!

It's 12:03 AM

2006-09-18T00:01:00.000+08:00

Yet another unproductive day of lazying around and feeding my gastric pet has passed despite the supposedly very busy schedule that I have. Although I still have to finish my Kom Paper, study for the Histo, Bio and Math exams I still found the time to read some mangas and acted like a kid for the nth time... Acted like a -5-year-old, carefree, cartoon-loving, responsibility-less kid minus the parents.

I guess this is what happens when someone like me, who has a lot of know-hows on using money, talking to people and using all the things in our room for fun, get all childish. When there's no one to control you, all the things that I need to do simply got blown away from my head by all the "fun" that I had.

This is a really boring entry... I don't wanna continue it anymore...

Anyway... I'm bored...

Break from being so damn smart...

2006-09-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

See the title? Huh, yeah, fine, to all of you who keep praising my undeniable mental prowess, I concede to you all and proudly accept your nods. Blessed by God, gifted by nature and developed by will, I am what I am now a genius, an intelligent being, a guy with a superior mind...

You may ask, what's wrong with me and I'm suddenly becoming this egotistic being of uncontrolled vanity and narcissism? I honestly don't know, and I'm a genius for pete's sake! (sino nga ba si pete?) Maybe this is the result of being constantly challenged mentally in each forsaken minute that I'm in CAS. And who said there are no incompetent teachers in UP? Surprise surprise! A teacher is not only someone who stands up in front and blab about the theory of this and the laws of that, lecturing about pure technicalities of life when an audio tape couldv'e made the same job done (and could even do better especially if you have ugly teachers like I do). For me a teacher is someone who connects with his student and tries to impart not only the knowledge and the facts but also that certain zeal to learn, the light that inspires and the want to make a difference (naks, told you I was THAT smart). Sadly, only a few were able to do such so far in my life as a Skolar ng Bayan. UP should know this in the first place, being the leader of almost everything and all. Though they always say that "totoong buhay" is experienced in UP, but "totoong buhay" is not a learning experience without someone to guide you, someone will always guide you and it is best to have someone competent as a guide.

This is what happens when you've been reading logic, categorical syllogisms and crap about philosophy for the past seven/six hours, you get all too philosophical about stuff. In eight hours we will be having our second exams for philo, and I have worked my ass off so that I can at least get a decent grade from this torture (which by the way I'm going to pay 9 bucks for, WTF?). I am expecting a response field with flowers and butterflies... and candy and dolls and pink stuff... Eww, that is like so kadire ha! Suuuupperrr!!! Sheesh...

You have just witnessed how the intelligent mind works, if you were confused, this only means one thing... I AM WAY SMARTER THAN YOU! Bwahahahahahaha!!! (I should really try and visit the psych ward of PGH... Hmmmm... Any objections?)

*blink blink...

*tick tock tick...

Oh my God! Hindi kaya! No way! Oh my God! That is so much talaga ha! The chuva ng something na ganito is like making me all chuva and all na ha! Oh my God talaga! Super stoopid talaga niya noh? Look at that lady's skirt that is so so... And that girl's hair is such a such and blah blah blah blah... Evolution of man kind is going down hill... T_T

This is Leon.. Out...

Recap on things to do: Philo exam later, tons of math assignments on monday, bio exam on tuesday, bio exam on thursday and math exam on friday... Bring it on!

Almost two hours later, and not being productive...

2006-09-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

WTF!? Haha, what have I been doing for the past two hours? NOTHING! NADA! NIL! I am being so so so unproductive... What am I going to do!!!??? Help! Please!?

It's times like these that I can't greatly appreciate the gift of internet. I have been staring at my personalized (this is a very optimistic term since it's not actually personalized but rather is made up of unused but still working parts old and new) computer doing nothing but surf the net and doing stuff. And what am i SUPPOSED to do? Hmm, in two days we're gonna be having our 2nd exams for philo 1, of which 30 points of it will come from an essay that was given way way way back. Well, besides the fact that I haven't really studied for the subject, it's supposed to be easy right? WRONG! Yeah, it'a take home essay, but whoever said that the questions would be easy? They're as difficutl as hell! And I'm supposed to be doing it right now, and one hour and fifty minutes later, I end up with a word document with my name, student number and a title on it: "Philosophy of Language Essay"... and creativity goes out the window.

I really should blame the internet for being there whenever I feel to use it. It's giving me temptation that I can't fight... So maybe I should blame myself.. Haha.. I don't know what's happening with me... I am so empty of any ideas that I can put into my essay that I end up with a blank piece of paper. I always felt like writing is one of my passions, but maybe, after so many things undone, I'm beginning to feel that I'm done with writing. I feel like I can never write a single phrase for the rest of my life that's even worth a fool's attention. I feel that all the technicalities, theories and standards of what I know, I what I am learning and what the environment around me is imposing on me has sucked out all of my creativity, my art, my skills and passion for things that subsist in our minds and made me into a mindless uptight zombie. Tsk tsk tsk...

But...

After writing something on this blog and I hope someone's gonna read it, I have proven myself wrong... touche!

This is Leon.. Out!

Sacrifices...

2006-09-05T20:09:00.000+08:00

A lot of things are being shoved up our mouths these days. A GREAT NUMBER of exams, I have to do some research for Kom, I still need to make my essay for the Philo Exam, I still need to attend choir practices and develop my singing (which really needs a lot of work), these are the little things that we have to do. And I, so that I can finish all of these with me still intact and sane, have to make sacrifices.

I'm Sorry Jacques because I can't go to your Bday celebration. Though I really really really want to go (I mean, come on, it's an EK adventure!), I have to do my research. Babawi na lang ako next time! Hope you understand and enjoy your celebration.

I'm sorry my body, because I have to abuse you this week in doing a LOT of things. You have to undergo several no-sleeping days and be filled with very tasty coffee. You may also have to stop your vanities, I need to save money for more needed stuff. Hope you understand.

I'm sorry myself, for I will have to make you undergo days of torture, though nobody likes to be tortured, there is no other way, you have to sacrifice a lot of things. You know that this is for your own good so you better start working your ass up or you'll suffer! Suffer you here me? SUFFER!!!!

Gawd, I really don't enjoy living this forsaken life! ArGH!!!!

So many things to do, so little time and so mediocre skills to do them. That's life! *sigh

This is Leon... OuT!

Canticorum at iba pa...

2006-09-02T07:08:00.000+08:00

Magsisimula na ang pang-apat ng buwan ng klase at fourth month ko ng stay in Manila. Ano na bang nangyari sa buhay ko? Anong nawala at anong nadagdag? Sino na ba ako ngayon, at ano na ang nagawa ko?

I really can't imagine na after months of complaining due to numerous requirements, insensitive professors and an expectation that's hard to live up to, buhay pa ako at paningin ko, I can actually do this for the next 6+ years. After all, buhay doctor ang gusto kong patutunguhan ng buhay ko. Hihi.

Matapos ang tatlong buwan, paningin ko, andito na naman ako sa kinailaliman ng academic ladder. Gone are the days that I can proudly say that I am one of the top students in our class. Gone are the days that I can impress the teachers with my (what I thought to be) highly intelligent mind (walang kokontra!). Gone are the days when schoolmates of mine would look up to me and say, "Wow, ang galing talaga ni Nil!" or "Sana naman ganyan kataas ang grades ko!", and I would simply bow my head down, and try to be humble while in fact I feel exalted deep inside. Now, I am slapped, stomped and hammered down under by a thing called college, where everyone's intelligent (more than I am actually) and teachers are less attached to the ones that they're teaching. So, who am I right now exactly? I'm nobody. And, I just realized, I've never felt better and freer(?).

Ngayong araw na ito, I will make my debut in the choir singing world as I would join my first "gig" with the MedChoir sa isang wedding in Forbes (sosyal no?). After days of practicing songs such as Canticorum, Your Love and I will be here, I think I'm relatively ready to contribute to the music later on this day. I really wish that I won't screw up and somehow contribute to an atmosphere of eternal love sa wedding na ito. After all, for me, Music is the language of love. I'm happy that somehow my "talent" in the musical field can be developed while I'm in the choir and my voice will no longer be exclusively heard by the shower curtain, the tiles and whatever you may see inside the shower.

*Snap! back to reality, next week we'll have our third dept exams in Math17, I have to make the initial biblio of my study for Kom II, next next week would be the exams for Philo, and for the rest of my college life, a whirlwind of reqs, exams, lectures and tons of pressure.... BRING IT ON!

This is Leon... Out!

Currently Practicing: Prayer of St. Francis

Bakit Umaatake ang Sipon ko sa Umaga Lang...

2006-08-29T20:05:00.001+08:00

BE WARNED! THIS IS A GROSS ENTRY!

*
I really cannot understand my own body (and it's a nice body if I may add). I have colds for almost a week now and I have already used up three watchamacallits (not rolls) and one roll of tissue to blow in the stuff leaking out of my nose (eww nil!). The problem with colds is that they impede the life-giving air to enter properly through my nose. It's really gross when I don't get to blow out the mucus coz my nose makes this sound when I prevent the stuff to leak out. As in, like super eewwwww!!! Ha!

Now, after a few days of having this sickness (I really am doubtin if it's a sickness for me, it doesn't make me miss classes) the colds take on a different form (?). It only attacks to utmost irritation during the day and at night, to my delight, I can sleep soundly with easy breathing. Hehe...

I just realized that it's easier and cleaner to have colds when you're in Davao or Surigao (or any area in Mindanao) than having colds when you're in Manila. Here's the thing, when you have colds in Davao, where there's clean air and not much dirt to enter your nose, blowing out the mucus really gives you a, temporary, clean nose. However, if your in Manila, where the air is a lot more dirtier (more na, dirtier pa!), blowing your nose only gives you booger-filled nostrils and you are left to clean them stealthily (?) unless if you want people to see hanging GREEN bats up your nose. I am left frequently going to the men's room to blow out the liquid from my nose or clean my nose inside the cubicle. Just imagine, trying to get rid of a lot of green, slimy, smelly (I don't know how but I can smell it), icky mucus from your nose and that sound that it makes when you do it. Yuck ka dudes!

Now, I can breath easily but I think I'll return to the repeated sniffing tomorrow and use up a whole bunch of tissue!

Oh, well (achoo!) this is Leon.. Out!

When it rains yesterday, and you sweat today...

2006-08-26T15:42:00.001+08:00

Haha! I feel so happy today because somehow I'm pushing myself to the limit in things that I like doing! :) Yesterday I met with my mom at Rob. She's here because she's gonna leave the country in a month to work at The Bahamas. (*sniff so sad... the things that poverty can do) A sad fact that we have to make sacrifices so that we can live sufficient lives. Anyway after that she had to get her stuff that she left with me last time so I had to get them from our room. It was raining tons of pets and genius me left my umbrella at the dorm so I had to run two blocks under the rain to get to our dorm. Oh by the way, I had this weird feeling that I wanted to shave my head, so I asked the barber yesterday to leave nothing but a cm of hair. Now I look like a brown hard boiled egg. T_T
After I gave my mom's stuff to hers, I quickly went back to our dorm to make the map of the Phil. for our Bio (uhh, connection?) basta yun! It was our concept for a report. I printed out several pages of the map and drew a larger copy on a half sheet of cartolina. Then I cut out the islands and pasted them on a blue crepe paper covered illustration board. See, that was not an easy task to do, I had to cut the islands while still keeping the features of the coastlines... T_T So, there, I sacrificed some studying time for the Nat Sci 2 exam (which we had kanina) for our report, bait ko no? T_T Then I tried to sleep so that I may have some energy to study so I did. Then I woke up, studied then slept again, woke up a while ago then studied some more...

For me the exam wasn't that hard. For one thing, I was able a whole bunch of essays so my grade for the exam will (I hope) keep me smiling. :) Haha...

Serine and I played against the team from 2010 for the mixed doubles in badminton. I was shaking so hard because I haven't had a decent meal, it was so effing cold, I haven't played badminton in two years and we were representing two batches, so, huh no pressure talaga! (ei poch?) Suprisingly we won the first set but lost the next two (because of useless me.. *sniff!) Serine handles the racket like a pro coz she played the game so good that I felt guilty that I was holding us down. :( I mean, come on! I haven't eaten! (excuses.. tsk tsk!) Then I got to play some non-professional badminton games with some pros and when I say pros, I mean real pros! I had to push myself to my limit and actually sweat so that I can keep up with them. Serine didn't had a hard time doing so. She and Kuya Ace played against the interns a while ago and one of the interns was actually a SEA Games athlete. Ha! It was such a faire fight. But, good 'ol Serine and Kuya Ace were able to play a game worth watching against the pros that people actually enjoyed them! Naglead pa nga sila eh! But, as expected, 2007 won the two sets. Well, Go iMed! Go iMed Badminton Queen! :)

Then I sweated the stress out and now I feel so refreshed! Ha! I want to do this more often. Who knows? I may get better in these stuff that I'm doing. So, recap on my affiliations: MedChoir (I'm having a hard time hitting the right notes and we have to sing for a wedding next week, yikes number 1), Volleyball team (we have a game this tuesday, yikes number 2), and Badminton player (uhh, what happened kanina, yikes number 3)...

But with all of these, I'm happy! :) <<>

When it rains yesterday, and you sweat today...

2006-08-26T15:42:00.000+08:00

Stressed...

2006-08-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

Feel ko pumapangit ako... Kasi di ba, stress can make you ugly? I am very stressed therefore I am getting uglier by the day. Haha... this is really weird... Hmm...

Pasensya na ha... As in, I feel so stressed talaga because of this stupid college life. Bawat bend na lang sa buhay ko may paperwork, report, exam, readings, photocopies, etc... Please, what's with college ba and torturing people? School's supposed to be there to teach people new stuff, not push them into insanity. I have a jumble of ideas, facts, opinions, to-do-stuff and whatever crap my high IQ mind can procure. Also, though some people perceive me as someone who has brains, I actually feel like my brain's been sucked out of me. I feel so dumb, so useless and I am aware that I'm being pessimistic.

F**k, this is a life that I don't like. Living a life of endless torture and mind-boggling activities is paramount to peeling my skin inch by inch. Ugh!!! Fuck fuck, shit shit!!! Putang-inang buhay to!!! ARGH!!!! And now school's making me type words of utter rudeness sa blog kong ito... it's making me more evil...

Huh, so ano ngayon? School's making me ugly, stressed, tired, stupid and evil. How pathetic can you get? Gawd!!! So why live through all of this?

Because I chose to.

Ang weird ko talaga no? Reklamo ako ng reklamo, alam ko naman kasagutan sa likod ng lahat ng ito... Hay naku, the mind is an amazing thing talaga...

Good thing somethings and some people still keep me sane... Some thing's worth smiling pa pala afterall... Haha...

Yun lang.. this is Leon.. Out!!!

Ang Lady Med... Bow!

2006-08-12T19:55:00.000+08:00

After weeks of practicing, teaching steps, going up ear-popping elevators, paying stuff (T_T), and succumbing to certain extents of shame, ang Lady Med ay Tapos na!!!! BOW!!!

Hehe... Yes, as in after irksome practices we, the iMed class of 2013 have proven ourselves worthy opponents. Haha.. Naks! Kahit na our very beautiful, witty and talented Ms. Victoria S. didn't win any award, masaya pa rin kami kasi after our production number, we brought the house down, napabilib namin yung mga upclass, and who said baguhan pa lang kami? Hehe...

Sana ganito kasaya ang Lady Med every year! Hahay Med Life! Imagine nyo na lang isang kakaramput na space na may unperceived airconditioning full of almost insane, jumping and screaming doctors and soon-to-be doctors. Add to that five straight guys who got the chance to enter women's bodies (according sa isang contestant) and came out sa gabing yun as very beautiful and graceful princesses. Haha, at sinong nagsabing wala nang exciting life ang mga med students?

So, ito ang UP Med Life... Hihi...

Anyway, back to reality... I'm gonna miss pressuring ourselves to practice.. Pushing ourselves into hunger para lang magkaroon ng polished practices.... Stuffing ourselves in Cyb's unit.... Laughing at we-all-know-who... Trying to make Bean become a she... And, even though it's weird to admit it, getting to know these people that i'm gonna be spending my time with for the next 6 years and something months... Kelangang makibagay, para maganda ang buhay!!! hihi

Hay naku... Hmm.. Waa... At least, ndi talaga ganun kami katoxic diba? haha...

Naks, saya talga (so far) na med life!!! haha...

Yun lang muna for now!!! This is Leon... Out!

Pasok pala ako? Hihi...

2006-08-10T07:53:00.000+08:00

Naisabi ko sa inyo aking mga magigiliw na mambabasa, kung meron man, na ako'y di pinalad sa aking pakikipagsapalaran sa MedChoir. Nasabi ko rin sa inyo ang pagiging mapait ng tingin ko sa buhay at nalait ko pa ang isang di nabanggit na tao. Tunay ngang kaawa-awa ang aking lagay dahil sa kalungkutan nung sinulat ko ang nakaraang serye ng aking buhay...

But wait, THERE'S MORE!

A funny but very welcomed twist happened. Sabi ni Kuya Caloy daw, na akala niya ako si Bean, pero hindi so medyo may kulang sa cast nila ng tenor, so pasok pala ako!!! Yehey!!! Hurrah!!! I feel so happy,excited, ecstatic, fantastic, and all other positive adjectives there are!!! Hahaha!!!

Pero syempre now, I need to work harder. Medyo mas naging toxic ang sched ko kasi the choir schedule practices 5:30 - 7:30 PM twice to thrice a week. I need to practice din araw-araw sa aking boses para di ako mapag-iwanan. I need to adjust myself for a more toxic college life. I also need to learn all those things that they teach like controlling the opening of the mouth and the voice, lifting the soft palate (whatever that may be), supporting the breathing with the diaphragm and taking the breath from within! Yey! This is like so saya talaga! My Med life has become more interesting and at least I have something else that I can do besides my academics.

Bow... Di pala sayang ang talent ko! Yey, Thank you Lord!Ü

Yun lang, masaya lang talaga ako sobra. Now, I have to study a lot of things kasi malapit na ang exams for math and geo! Hihi...

This is Leon... Out!Ü

Sad...

2006-08-05T09:56:00.000+08:00

I just found out recently na di pala ako natanggap sa MedChoir... Hohum, they said kasi that I can't be accomodated due to limited slots, that is so so so sad..

Anyway, I can accept the fact that I was rejected, I mean come on, I shouldn't have expected something so high if, somehow, I murdered a song. So, note to self, sing a song that you really know (as in KNOW not remember but KNOW) the lyrics so that hindi ka magstutter, manginginig o gagawa ng words na wala sa song, baka akalain nila di ka seryoso.

So yun, pero what I can't accept is the fact that someone which, for me and quite number of other people, is just plain yabag. If they say that attitudes weighs more than talent, eh good attitude ba yung unang umalis pag may practice? I can sacrifice something if I really want it.

Do I sound like a bitter proud failure? Please bear with me na lang, alam ko naman na though di ganun kaganda, I know that I can sing... somehow. Di ba? People agree with me naman ah!

Hmpf! Sorry po, masakit lang talaga na, for the first time, mareject sa choir.

Anyway, kagabi was super saya. Kasi siguro na lang din sa pain ng rejection from the MedChoir eh I shifted my attention to dancing. Sa mga di nakakaalam, though I can't split, headstand, cartwheel, do verygood hiphop, kahit papano naman, I have rhythm na I can keep up with born dancers. Kahit papano, I helped sa choreopraphy ng dance for the finale ng production number for the MedChoir. Hihi, ahh the good ol' days.

After nun nagfoodtrip kami ng roomates ko sa pedro gil. First kumain kami with reysa and cj sa popeye's tapos after namin sila ihatid kumain kami ng siomai na benta sa daan at mangga na rin. Waaa, busog agad! Kahit ano pa sigurong sabi nila na marumi ang streetfood, masarap talga sila kahit anong gawin mo. Siguro yung dumi ang nagpapasarap dun... ewan..

Haha, hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko.. Gusto ko pumunta ng dil pero tinatamad ako... hahay....

Yun lang muna.. this is Leon.. Out!

Ang Pagkanta... Bow!

2006-07-28T00:32:00.000+08:00

Whew! At last, after napakadaming times ng pagkapostpone ng exams ng Histo, maraming tulong mula sa naglalakasang bagyo, isang season ng Grey's Anatomy, maraming gabi (at madaling araw) na walang tulugan at sangkatutak na mga pangalan, concepts, lugar at kung ano pang zhu zhu, I am very happy and proud to say na tapos na ang first long exams ng Histo 5 at Philo 1 and I, somehow, survived kahit papano. Hmm... Kahit na di ko pa alam ang results, I feel like isang libong pako ang natanggal sa aking ulo... Yey!

***

Ewan ko lang kung bakit, pero singing has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. Kahit na di naman ganun kaganda ang mga tunog na produced ng aking lalamunan, I never had the decency to contain my off-tone, off-pitch and off-sanity chantings sa C.R. Hmm... Maybe I'm too harsh naman sa sarili ko... Haha...

Pero kung lubos na iisipin, di talaga ako nahiya. Kumakanta ako sa hallways ng Pisay noon, sa classroom kung may teacher man o wala, habang naglilinis ng classroom, habang nag-aaral, pag nasa mall kung may narinig na song na alam ko and sumasabay agad ako with dancing pa, habang nasa CR (na nagiimagine na nasa Araneta with thousands of fans yelling my name!), sa jeepney, o kahit saan pa man. It was, is and will always be a part of my life.

Kung di mo ako kilala, siguro sasabihin mo agad na ang trying hard ko naman, di naman ganun kaganda boses ko, pang amplifier naman ang volume ko pag kumakanta ako. Kahit na wala na sa tono, pumipiyok na o kahit di na alam ang lyrics at gawa-gawa na lang ang 'kinakanta', sige pa rin... HATAW!!!

Pero lam mo, I agree with you... I won't deny it.. Trying hard talaga ako. Naaalala ko nun, Grade 1 sumali ako ng singing contest sa school, 3rd ako, tapos nung Grade 3 mananalo na daw sana ako, kaya lang nakalimutan ko yung lyrics (T_T)... Tapos sa lahat ng schools that I went to, I always tried to get into their school choirs at sumasali sa mga musicals at sa kabutihang palad, never pa naman akong nareject sa mga ito... Siguro lang I love music na I won't simply settle lang sa pakanta-kanta sa gilid at sa pakikinig sa mga singers, I want to be heard, whether you like it or not... Haha...

Kung tatanungin mo ang mga sikat na singer, ano kaya sasabihin nila? Ano kaya sasabihin nila Britney Spears, Mariah Carrey, Yellow Card, U2, etc. Siguro pareho kami nang isasagot. I simply love doing it. Even though sometimes nagmumukha na akong tanga, nagiging outlet din ito sa kung anumang hinaing that I feel.

I'm not claiming na I'm one of the experts when it comes to singing, isa lang akong taong ginagawang hobby and pangrelax sa sarili ang pagkanta. Self-fulfillment ang aking reason.

So request lang, next time na marinig mo akong kumakanta, please bear with me na lang. Siguro naman, kahit papano, worse pa rin ang ingay ng tambucho sa faura kesa sa ingay na nagagawa ko. Kung hindi, join me na lang. For sure, you'll feel better pag kumanta ka at the top of your lungs after a very frustrating day.

****

Waaa... magstudy pa ako for Nat Sci and PE!!! Waaa... Help!!!
Yun lang... This is Leon... Out!

Grey's Anatomy ala Philo de Histo

2006-07-26T20:24:00.000+08:00

Recently on Nil's pathetic life:

Thanks to the always ever helpful storms, for the I-don't-know-what time, the Histo exams were postponed, and unfortunately, we have to take it on the same day as the Philo exams. Hmm... And that would be tomorrow... Hmm... Shouldn't I be studying? Anyway, maybe later.
Due to the 4-day class-free uh, days(T_T) I got to watch Grey's Anatomy which, I must say, is probably one of the best and most sensible show that I have watched since like forever (I mean with all the Justice League and MadTV that I watch). I can't think of a reason why I wanna be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. Maybe it's the words of sense that I got from the show. And maybe it's because it portrays the dilemmas of being someone that I will be, hopefully, within 7 years. It's such a beautiful series that I really wonder why I only got hooked now. Hmm... Maybe it's all the cartoons that I watch.

Philo and Histo are up tomorrow and I really wish that my prayers last sunday won't be left unheard by Him, coz I really need some divine inspiration to study. Sometimes I ask myself why I have to undergo such torment and suffering, and it always goes down to the fact that I chose this path, so panindigan ko.

Maybe that's all muna right now, manonood pa ako ng Bituing Walang Ningning.. haha!!! So now you know what other shows I watch... haha...

This is Leon... out!

A Story About Regrets

2006-07-24T13:58:00.000+08:00

This is a story about regrets... I know, I know, another one? It seems I'm getting good at making stories of regrets, maybe because my life is so full of regrets that I even forgot the meaning of moving on... Or maybe because it's the weather... It's too gloomy... Hmm... Bagyong Glenda... Right... So...

Like I said, this is a story about regrets...

There was once a boy, who always felt that people his age are too young to understand or even feel true love. That is, until love itself came knocking on his heart. Maybe it wasn't such a good choice to offer his heart to someone so beautiful, so kind, so perfect. Maybe he was simply caught under the spell that she unconsciously casts on pitiful creatures like himself. Or maybe, it was not the beauty, nor the kindness, nor the perfectness, but rather it was the time that he spent with her, getting to know her more, and seeing her in her happiest, saddest, angriest(?), loudest, most quiet, most awake, most vulnerable, most evil, most serine, most embarassing, most intellectual and most stupid moments that he got to know her better realizing that she is still, afterall, a person and she was neither perfect nor kind at all times but whose beauty still lingers in all of these moments and whose smile he never wants to fade from her face. A person whom he can do everything just to hear her hearty laugh and never let her feel a tinge of pain.

So what happened to that feeling? What happened to those moments? What happened to those memories? The boy, due to the fear of a destroyed beautiful friendship, bottled up his feelings and threw them in the deepest abyss of his heart, not realizing that the more he tried to hide them, the faster they grew and the greater the pain that he felt. And he didn't realize that the abyss wasn't deep enough, and in the blink of an eye it was overflowing with what he tried to bury... But the boy was so stupid, so naive, so cowardly that he went on with his life, with an unseen hemorrhage... That even in the moments that they danced, and in the moments of the roses, he never thought of even saying it to her. That even in the moments of jokes he never became serious... And so, on the moment that they parted ways, he simply became a memory to her... A memory of a good friend whom she bossed around, laughed with, worked with and who was, as she thought, totally honest to her...

So what happened to the boy? He was left in a pool of pain and regrets. The only venue that he had to express himself was in his pathetic blog. He tried to confess in it, hiding in his words due to the coward that he is. Hoping someday she can read it, as most people have, and understand why.

Now, he thinks he has moved on. He thinks it's already the past. He thinks everything was over a long time ago. He even tried to find someone to whom he can offer his bleeding heart to. He thinks he knows what he is doing. And yet he wonders... why in the moments that he remembers her, he ends up writing a story of regrets. Why in the moments of remembering these regrets, he ends up beating himself up thinking of his stupidity and foolishness. And lastly, he wonders why, in the moments of coldness, loneliness and silence broken only by the tapping of the rain on his window, tears always form in his eyes and make their way down his cheeks, leaving a trail of pain and regrets.

-The end

*Sniff sniff...
Ha!! That was so not me... Sisihin kasi yung bagyo, it drives people insane!!! Anyway, the moral of the story? Wag magpakaplastic, magpakatotoo ka dude!

So... This is Leon.. Out!!!

The Dead, The Rallyists and The Exams

2006-07-21T23:37:00.000+08:00

It's a funny thing how a lot of things can happen in my life within three days. Siguro totoo nga yung sinasabi ni Mam V noon na a lot of things can happen within 5 minutes, what more pa kaya within three days? Siguro di lang natin nakikita yung wonders of "life" as we speak that happens every hour, minute or second. Or baka masyado lang akong nagiging OA kasi nakakita ako ng patay na slowly naaagnas and pinag-aaralan pa ang kanyang bod... Hmm...

Yup, you heard right, pathetic as it may sound to other people, but I am ecsatically and immensely proud to say that I have seen and even touched a cadaver which was a male Pinoy about 5'3" in height... haha...
I kinda pitied those people who were unclaimed and left to die alone and be sold to medical schools like mine to be used as frog specimens... it's, i think, one of the saddest things that could happen to a person... I mean sure they tend to help future people coz they help future doctors learn, but the fact that it wasn't their choice to end up like that kinda leaves me very sad and cold and siguro value life more as it is...

Anyway, I'm also here to talk about the overly active students of my school. It gives me the split feeling of pride and irritation... Pride cause i know that these UP students greatly help in the check and balance of the gov't and making those up there realize the right or wrong of the things that they do. Irritation because I still believe that the greatest thing that we, the youth can do to improve our state is to stay in school, study real good, and hopefully in the future, join and live and contribute in the real world. I hope I won't get my ass kicked because of this, afterall my school does believe in freedom of expression.

Lastly, I'm here to rant about the lives of the pity-worthy trees and the effing exams... I can't help but notice the tons of paper that schools use for "education" which most of the time end up being shred or burned at the expense of tons of trees being cut. That's why I readily fight for saving the trees, no to exams.... haha... please bear with me, I just can't accept the fact that within the following weeks are insanely difficult and long exams just to test how much we know (and probably learned)... Can you see it? How shallow the exams make me? How these things affect my reasoning? Haha... rant all you want nil, no one's going to care...

Anyway, I really should start saving and studying if I want to have a successful life. Funny thing how we know the right things to do, but just can't find enough reasons to do them.

Haha... Anyway, yun lang muna ngayon... This is Leon... Out!

So Down Right Now, Friggin Math Exams

2006-07-15T02:23:00.000+08:00

Whoever said that I may be one of the brightest young minds of our batch could keep his words. I, yet again, feel so utterly dumb, stupid and bobo to the highest degree. God, because of that friggin Math17 exams, which I have spent hours and effort in reviewing, I feel so stupid in every aspect: from the clothes that I wear to the things that I see. Shit, F*ck, P*ta!!! How can the most complex of problems yield the simplest of answers!? Why do they have to make simple stuff out of complicated ones?! Can't they be a little bit consistent? Ok, x-x is zero right? Yes, right and I, due to my lightning-fast depreciation of IQ, have neglected this simple fact and cost me three points for that exam. Three points lang you say, but who knows, I'm not the brightest in Math, maybe those three points would've made the difference between a 4 and a 3!!! Oh My Golly Gosh!!! (Ew... such language...)
Anyway, being in this course has again made me feel a colossal ignoramus, a complete dumb-dumb, an epitome of an air-head!!! (Ranting, such wonders it makes to someone so down as me).... haha... I can't believe what I'm saying... Sheesh...
Waaa.... I think I'll just make bawi in the coming exams and the following exams in Math... Isusubsob ko sarili ko sa aking notes and aking mga books! It's ace or die this time... Haha...
Anyway, a while ago, JF, Pat and I walked under the rain and somehow the rain washed away the feeling of depression that I felt due to that freaking exam. Hohum...

Hay naku!! Naku talaga!!! I can't also neglect this feeling of being alone... I have no close friends who I can talk to and someone who truly understands what I feel. Hohum... i really miss my friends na sobra...

Anyway, I leave you with this quote na lang by Mark Twain indeed saying that Math is not everything!!!
"I won't let my schooling interfere with my education."
This is Leon... Out!!!

Net in Dorm and Exams later... haha

2006-07-12T09:25:00.000+08:00

haha... First I'd like to thank my room mate with a BIG heart, JF, for lettin me use his always-so-beautiful laptop... (applause)
Anyway, wow, it's kinda a nice feeling to, the first time ever, write an entry inside our room. Oh, did I not tell you? We have internet connection in our dorm already!!! HA! Wohoo ang saya-saya... Thanks to our very kind dorm mate, Denver, we have wireless connection and yes, internet is just a click away!
Waa... Hmm... We'll be having our first ever dept exams in our UP lives this afternoon, 5:30-7:00 at some-place-that-don't-know.... hmmm wow.... I'm actually surprised that I'm not feeling any anxiety right now, not even a butterfly in my stomach to make me feel, I don't know,weird maybe.... Oh well, I studied as hard as I can and I hope it'll produce good results... hmm...
Regarding my last entry, I'm actually getting used to the faces that I see every day.... though I don't take back the part about some of them being snobs or pasikats or know-it-alls or just plain weird but as a whole, they're actually ok... Ok enough to spend seven years with.... (seven long dragging years)...
Hmm, I guess that's all... May God Bless all of Us!!! This is Leon... out! (But not too long... may net na kami sa room!!! Wohoo!!!)

After Three Weeks...

2006-06-30T13:43:00.000+08:00

At Last!!! After a month I now have the fool's inspiration to write something in this almost forgotten blog of mine. Hmm, what has happened in my life these days? Well, let us see. First of all it has been, I think, three weeks since proper classes started for my college life and I feel like I've been going through the same routine for years now!!! It always goes like this: I wake up, take a bath, try to look good, walk for fifteen minutes, arrive at class drenched in sweat and get caught in long sometimes exciting but most of the time boring discussions... Haaay... So this is intarmed. Honestly, I don't feel special being in this made for 40 course. I feel so tired, bored, ordinary and all that shit that comes with college life. To make it worse, I only have two familiar faces with me and the rest is a great mixture of social status, educ. background, languages and attitudes of people that I have never imagined in my life that I would mingle with. I'm not being all Mr. Perfect and all but three weeks has left me with an uneasy path to fit in. Stating it directly to the point, I have a lot of classmates that are if not weird, snobs or know-it-alls or just the usual people who are oozing with uncontrolled and unwanted self-confidence (pasikat masyado). I mean, come on, we all have brains here do you have to openly show yours? God, and on top of that I have a splitting headache that is already 11-days old!!! I really think I have a brain tumor or something.
God I miss my friends... To my friends, you know who you are, just wanna let you know that I F*cking miss you all so much!!! I miss all our moments together where I can be my natural self with all of you. I wanna let you know that I am in the moment of my life where I miss you people the most and appreciate the most the things that all of you have done to me... Shit, I feel so pathetic and weak...
God I need you, please give me strength and patience so that I'll survive.. Wow, I'm actually ranting right now, and I don't usually do that...
Hohum, is the price that I have to pay for being so damn intelligent?(lightning strikes and I'm left in a pile of ashes)
This is Leon... Out and almost dead!!!

trying to fit in...

2006-05-28T18:02:00.000+08:00

Call me a stupid paranoid dumbo, but I'm really having a hard time in adjusting to a "culture" which I'll be practicing for the next seven years or more.. Hm, ok, so what's up with my life? Well, for starters, I've spent the last 13 days of my life in manila in my tita's house doing nothing but sleep, eat, watch TV and memorize all the new jingles that one can hear from the very operatic TV commercials.. hohum...
For those who want to know the senseful(?) and productive things that have happened to me for the past month :
1) I'm officially an intarmed student of UP-Manila College of Medicine.. Pretty cool eh? hehe.. CJ and I are both in block 13 which, unfortunately, is not Reysa's block, she's in the other block (14) where they'll be taking english com (Filipino po ang sa amin). Thanks to some very understanding, kind and patient people (namely Reysa, Tita Hermy, and Ms. Ethel (the GF of my kuya which I can't decide whether to call her 'ate')) my enrollment to the very cool school of UP was a success.. (applause in the background) watch out UP, here I come!! wahehe...
2) I'm a UPan!!! yey!!! hihi, sorry... can't help it...
3) My Mommy Cathy (she's an aunt of mine), arrived at manila last thursday and I got to see her after four long years... Yey!!! But that's not the best part, the best part is that I have tons of pasalubong from her... yey!!! haha... unfortunately, they left them in Surigao and my mom will bring my stuff to me.. hihi..
4) I finally found a dorm that suited my taste and my very sensitive wants... hmm... it has airconditioned rooms, CRs with heater, a generator, clean environment, very strategic location w/ respect to my school, the mall and the bars.. hihi, not like the last one will be visited or anything...
5) I'm still alive despite all the rotting that happened to my life... hehe... and i'm actually pretty happy with my life, I'll soon start college, and I think I have a very bright future ahead of me...
However, I really should start speaking straight tagalog/english coz I still get to slip some bisaya words through my tongue when i talk.. it's kinda embarassing when the tagalog person gets this lost look just bcoz he can't understand me... hihi... Actually, currently, I still feel paranoid when I'm with these Luzonians coz I can't get the feeling of being mocked behind my back just because I came from down south.. hahay...
Oh, by the way, we went to SM Mall of Asia last friday and let me tell you, the mall's sooooo effing huge!!! i mean, thirty minutes of walking and I was already tired goddamit! We didn't even get to finish seeing the whole mall due to it's painfully big architecture... hahay... anyway, I'll return to that mall... I Promise!!!! hmmm...
I got to watch X-Men: The Last Stand and boy did I enjoy the movie.... It was so cool talaga dude!! hehe... kaso nga lang I was weirded out due to what they did to jean grey, i like her character pa naman. but she was so effing powerful in the movie ha!!! waaa.... gosh, kaganda talaga nun... hmmm...
Anyway, I hear Toni Gonzaga on the radio... hmm weird, yun lang... Leon.. Out!!!

Pano pag coño ang mundo?

2006-05-02T16:49:00.000+08:00

Ever thought anong mangyayari sa mundo pag puro konyotics ang nabubuhay? Hmm... Ok lang naman siguro, pano pag lahat, as in lahat... as in the coño language is the basic medium for communication sa mga tao? Can we take it?

*******

Oh my gosh, as in my mundo is like so perfect na talaga pare. As in, like, all the pipol na kala ko are so tanga in using the ever so boring tagalog and english dito sa cheap country na ito sa kanilang speaking are coming to their senses na talaga. As in I am so heaven na pare kasi kanina when I woke up yung girl sa radio was like speaking my tongue na and so uber ganda to hear talga... It's like melody talaga sa aking eardrums unlike nung dati na TH sya masyadong magenglish na so boring to the max na ang kanyang boses kasi parang zombing si britney spears pare na nagdecay na ang larynx... As in sobrang pangit talaga yung old one... and so ganda talga ng new...

Tapos kanina pare while I was watching Magandang Umaga Pilipinas on ABS napaka civilized and formal talaga pakinggan ng mga host nila kasi nga di ba, they were speaking my tongue na talaga... as in pare when they gave the traffic report naenjoy ko talaga... Kasi Ms. Aida was like, "All the sasakyan there in EDSA are like already making bangga na sa mga cars in front of them. Katanga talaga nila noh! As in like di sila magmake basa sa mga traffic signs na no overtaking." music to my ears talaga pare!

Tapos, I watched my favorite show on Earth... "Game Ka Na Ba?" kasi I made tulog na after I watched MUP... Kakaboring kaya the other shows, ala kasi kaming cable... so pathetic talaga my parents for being poor kahit cable man lang di makapaconnect... Hehe, as in super crush ko talaga si Ms. Kris Aquino... Dapat siya ang maging president natin... So intelligent talga she kasi she speaks my tongue the best, I really think we're meant for each other... I really feel hindi sya maging happy sa uber pangit na James Yap na yan.. Anyway, kaganda talaga their show kasi pati their contestants na are rising to Queen Kris's level kasi they made talk na in Taglish... As in I really think Kris and I had our moment together sa few moments na yun...

Tapos after watching the show (yung bobong native person di nakuha ang million peso question... so tanga talaga!) I made tulog uli... And when I woke up I made tingin sa 24 oras ng GMA... As in pati them pala were speaking my style... As in si Mike Enriquez was like, "Hello pipz, this is Mike or you can tawag me Mike! hahaha! I made salubong na sayo the best news to date na.. Sa heads of our news, isang stupid kidnapper made baril at a kawawang pulis. The kawawang pulis was natamaan sa head. Kawawa talaga... And PGMA made announce na nga some new kabobohang thingies..." grabe talga ang saya ko pare kase even the president was like kagaya ko na; sabi pa nya, "All of you stupid subordinates of mine ha! I am making utos sa inyo ha na you cannot make rally sa aking streets if you did not make kuha some rally permits from my baho offices! If not I'll send my uto-uto police men sa inyo and make them do buhos a lot of tubig sa inyo.. See, ang uber bait ko ha khit I am so mad na... Bigay ko sa inyo free baths para naman you'll be linis from your uber katagal nang rallying!" Tapos pare after naman the stupid rallyists na naman ang finocus ng so yesterday cameras and they were like, "PGMA, you make baba na!" and "PGMA, you're so hipocrita! You always make pahirap to us kawawang poor pipz!" as in uber tawa ko talaga nun kasi I was so happy kaya of their rallying palagi and always making reklamo... Napaka moronic talga nila... And they even made me more happy kasi they were so coño like me talaga... So saya talaga... And then binalik nila pagfocus ang face ni Mr. Mike na merong uber daming craters ang mukha and then mas naging obvious talaga the big holes ng ilong nya... As in pare para talagang mag-echo ang voice mo if you made sigaw malapit dun... As in sobrang comparable ang diameter ng nostrils nya sa width ng crater ng Mt. Taal! As in buti na lang walang something dun kung ndi I'm pretty sure I'll puke all over our super cheap TV... Tapos ang sinabi lang pala nya was,"Ok, here na is my uber ganda but uber tanda na ring partner, Mel Tiangco!" and then the intsik face of Ms/rs./whatever Mel na ang nagshow sa screen... Grabe talaga, I really wonder kung ilang garapon ng Chinchansu ang nagamit nya kasi uber puti talaga her face... Tapos she said, "The piso again made baba in its halaga na naman versus the very sosy dollar... This was, sabi nila, due to the stupid but di maiiwasang inflation sa ating kawawang thirld world country..." As in pare, kaweird nya pakinggan speaking my element pero ok lang, at least she's learning na to be sane di ba? and then she made dagdag, "and here na are the latest chika of our kabobohan pipz with the uber pangit .... what's her name nga ule?" and then they made focus the uber pangit face talaga of this woman (actually para transvestite)....and he/she was like, "here na po ang CHIKA Minute! some gaga starlet na naman made bukaka her legs in front of some sosy camera phone..." after nito pare I made patay na sa TV kasi I really never liked watching celebrity stuff, so kachipan kaya! I mean naman no, all they make is make some fake news about isang pangit celeb na nabuntis or si panget1 mad away panget2 and then blah blah.. parang, I don't give a damn kaya no! My life is so much more interesting than those stupid pipol... And besides kaya, I'm super bait to even bother with other people's lives and make pakialam sa kanilang private lives! So there na nga, I just said good night sa aking panget kapatids and then made tulog na kasi baka I'll be attacked by stupid eyebags, uber pogi ko pa naman... So, there natapos na nga ang aking super kagandang araw... Sana ganito na nga forever...

******

See, so ganda talaga... ehem... it's really very weird if people speak in informal langauges such as coño language... It's just... weird, although I have to admit that I speak in this sometimes... yeah, ok, maybe more than just sometimes... but the heck, I never dreamed of being konyotic... kadiri kaya! hehe

PS: the character portrayed in the paragraphs above is very fictional, any similarities with a true person is purely coincidental... also, the criticisms above are purely opinions of the owner of this blog, pleas don't make dibdib it.. haha... this is leon...

out!

Just to Clear things out...

2006-04-27T10:20:00.000+08:00

hmm... yeah... I think I just posted something... weird... so, if you'll read it, please don't think bad things... this is freedom of expression... ala naman ata ang naapakan o pinahiyang tao... this is my blog nga pala... hehe... eh, pasensya na if i can't keep this in... just wanted to type it down, and make it know to all of you...

hmm

leon.. out!

I DON'T WANT TO GRADUATE COLLEGE SINGLE

2006-04-27T09:28:00.000+08:00

Warning: This Entry is very full of what is true that's why it's pretty long... If you wanna read, then go...

One night, while I was watching how Mimi tried (for the nth time) to seduce Carding and trying to make the guy fall in love with her through very naughty ways (wow, I'm apparently hooked with Gulong ng Palad), I shaved what little hair was existing on my philtrum and on my chin. I really don't know what got into me. It just happened like this: nagcommercial break ang GNP, kinuha ko ung razor ni papa then inahitan ko sarili ko... Hmm, that was interesting...

Doing so left me with an itchy chin which I really don't know what caused it and a weird feeling around my lips... Then I asked my cousin how it looked and she said it was ok... Then I asked my mama how it looked and she said I looked more handsome.. Then I asked my ever-loving younger sister and she said that I looked like a vampire who just got a face-lift... Hmm... Interesting...

The reasons behind this very heinous act is still unkown to me... I can only make assumptions... I assume (really, I do...) that my insecurities caused me to somehow take a risk to alleviate the current status of the space occupying the front part of my head... Or maybe, I kinda envied father doing the act, so I did it (yey!!! I can blame him!) Or maybe I felt I was getting a bit older and I am feeling the numbers (though it's still not that big) and I am beginning to sense a need for a partner, the first one... (wow, I'm 16... and I already feel old)

Yeah, entering college this school year has made me realize some thoughts... I never had the chance to romantically enjoy my high school life... And I really doubt it if I'll have the time for it during college... (being in the intarmed and all)... This feeling of being single and alone has been bugging me since summer started...

Yes, I'll admit this: I HAD A CRUSH ON CIARA LIM DURING THE FOUR YEARS OF MY EXISTENCE IN PISAY!!! (whew... not like it's a secret anymore & ciara, if you read this... then you got your answer) However, admitting this won't change anything... We already parted ways, we'll go to very far schools... And my opportunities in highschool were waisted... Then you'll ask, "Why didn't you make a move?"... Hmm good point... And my answers:

1.) She doesn't want to have a partner during highschool, so any attempt would be futile. (I respected that)

2.) YES, I was afraid that our friendship may be shattered by this truth. (The existing friendship kept me alive... I don't want to die)

3.) I was insecure. I always felt that I wasn't good enough for her. (Obviously...)

4.) She deserves a handsome, rich and very competent guy, not a loser like me... (Uhuh)

5.) Fear... Of being hurt if I was rejected... (Ow...)

These are just the five answers that I'll have... About the fifth one, people may say that getting hurt is part of it but apparently when I get hurt, I'll be suicidal, and I don't want that to happen to me....

Yes, I am pathetic.. I am a coward... I am a loser.. And I am full if shit...

And I am planning to change all of this when I'm in college... I want to permanently erase this loser inside of me... I plan to graduate college with someone's hand holding mine... I just hope I'll have the opportunity... GOD HELP ME TO BUILD A LIFE...

Wow, this entry just made me say all of my current sentiments... Let me just say this, I was fulfilled when I graduated highschool... But I also have a lot to regret about it... And you just witnessed one big regret about my life... Sure.. go on... Read... People probably won't care...

This is Leon... Out!

What I see, sometimes I laugh, but it's reality

2006-04-24T14:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Pretty weird actually... Working in this net cafe has led me to this depressingly true use of the internet (specifically yahoo messenger) to the maria claras of today (or at least those filipinas stil living at this moment). The internet, such a magnificent invention coz it has connected every human being from different parts of the planet:

[a part of the conversation between a pinay and a kano that the pinay wanted to print out]

(Pinay) I love you

(Kano in some other far place) I love you too.

(Pinay) I can't live without you

(Kano in some other far place) I'm gonna leave in fifteen minutes...

.....

...

This scenario is apparently a common site once you start working in this airconditioned box they call the internet cafe. Filipinas depressed by their social status in society of being poor flock internet cafes so that they can connect, talk, and somehow convince some old rich white loser from the west that she can fulfill his wildest dreams. Some who come here don't even know how to open their Yahoo accounts and request me to open it for them (*your password mam? was it bam bam? or yang yang? or maybe dut dut?) and push me to hurry things up coz some guy whose name is Jack is waiting for them to be online... Tsk tsk tsk...

This is probably the reason why the Philippines has not improved for the last six years. Some of us put our fates of living a better life on the hands of dollar-earning americans without even thinking of the social impacts it amy cause on society. "COME TO THE PHILIPPINES!!! WE FULFILL YOUR DESIRES!" I can see it now, the Philippines as the number one exporters of wives. Ganyan na ba talaga kababaw ang tingin ni Juana dela Cruz sa kanyang sarili?

Some would probably say, "I think my soulmate is not here in the country... YM, are you ready?". The bitterness of reality is that Pinays really want to marry foreigners cause they think that they can escape the bundoks and daings of Pinas if they become romantically connected to americans. It's so bitter that I can even taste it! Argh...

I have nothing against those who meet people online, but instant husbands online? Please, you guys that low? Where's the value of the actual talking? Where's the meaning of the term, "getting to know each other" which is done not within a week. And the motive - money and the things that come with it - is so... so... pathetic! and probably is one of the lowest things that you can do to yourself. You're practically selling yourself (your freedom, your identity, your principles, your body, your future!!) Better pa ata ang pokpok, at least sa knila, bayad isang gabi lang, they still have the chance to find true love, eh kayo, all eternity na!

of course I have nothing else to say if indeed love is involved when these relationships are formed. That't love na, wala nang makakabali nyan.

[dong, unsaon man pag on sa webcam] another customer wants her beautiful face to be seen by John Doe... *sigh.. this is leon.. out

New Blog... New Life?

2006-04-22T10:07:00.000+08:00

Ok... At long last I finished "building" this new blog of mine... There are three main reasons why I desserted my old blog:
1. When you open it, you can't see the background that I spent so much time, money and effort to find and edit.
2. I just feel like it since I'm entering into a new school soon, probably it's time to make a new blog...
3. I really hope this new blog will make me aware of how pathetic I am... And make my life more livable...
Anyway... A lot has happened since that good-for-nothing old blog of mine simply stopped functioning... For one thing I am currently working at my Tito's Net Cafe: being its cashier, encoder, costumer-relations officer, computer-resetter, telephone answerer, janitor, records keeper and many more and earning about 2800 per month... You can be surprised at what people do in these internet cafes, but I'll reserve that for another entry.
I recently received my confirmation letter from UP-manila... They said I passed their interview... Hurrah to genius me... Well, I am soon to be an official college student... And not an ordinary one at that... I'll be undergoing this "special" 7-year program to be a doctor of medicine.. Haha... Talk about always being special... I'll be doing this with 39 other people.. and so far, I only know tow of them: Reysa and CJ (they're my batchmates) waa... hmmm... A geek and nerd for life... Lucky me...
I'll be going to manila this May 7. I'm riding a ship ALONE... Mom said the flights to Manila from Surigao are all fully booked... Some "people's airlines"... Anyway, I think I'll arrive at Manila on May 9 and I'll go directly with the enrollment process... hmmm [person enters net cafe: "Magpaencode ako"]
Yikes! I gotta work... see ya... this is Leon... Out!

2006-04-21T11:57:00.000+08:00

posting 1, 2, 3..